Sunday, March 20, 2005

Picture Perfect

I know it's shallow, it's superficial, it's cheap, it's a trait that I deplore in stereotyped gay men but I hope to God, if I ever do get married, my partner looks great in a tux. :)

Ah, a wedding!In Malaysia, well actually wherever Chinese families are prevalent, the thought of getting married is immediately followed by the question of where to take the prerequisite photos. For the uninitiated, the wedding photos aren't the usual happy cheery wedding pictures. The newly wedded couple is compelled by societal conventions to attend a professional shoot at a photo studio, decked out in various costumes and make-up reflecting different cultures and periods, prance foolishly about in exotic locations and decadent backyard lots... all to achieve the perfect wedding album to tout to the rest of their unmarried friends and relatives.

As a close friend of the wedded couple, both bride and groom, I just received photos of their recent shoot today. Tiny Tom and Tina waited with breath that was bated as I flipped through their pictures. For the sake of our friendship, I should have oohed and aahed over their posed pictures but I couldn't. I had seen some incredible wedding albums before - where the bride becomes transformed from a plain, working-class Cockney flower girl to a picture-perfect society Duchess. Wait, that was another movie but you get the picture. Amazing makeovers for the day were the rule but that didn't exactly happen here.

On her best days, Tiny Tina looks... hopelessly average, though a lil unkempt despite my Queer Eye advice, but once the bridal studios got their wicked hands on her... For God's sakes, she looked like a cheap two-dollar, overly made-up and over-the-hill Chinese hooker on the stroll with her childlike pimp. One of the pictures made it clearly look as if she was a manipulative madame about to take advantage of a youthful swain. There it feels awful but finally I've said it!

Thank God for internet anonymity. :)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Sven said...

Why waste cyber space for such giberish I will never understand. I do understand that the poster of that stupid url prefer to remain anonymous though - covardism isn't bravery, far from it.

Sven said...

Two thing about the photos:
1) ouch..
2) I really don't get the tradition, what kind of photos (in light of how you describe Tina, I would rather not have any photos at all..)? Why do you do it, apart from intimidating relatives?

..and everyone looks good in a tux ;)

btw, what would be raditional wedding clothes in your part of the world? Tux sounds very american to me..

savante said...

Well due to the Americanization of the world as a result of pop culture, everyone wears a tux for weddings :) And then we don the traditional costumes. It all depends on which race you come from. But for the pictures I mentioned for the album, there are certain periods that are well favoured, Japanese, Korean and Chinese traditional costumes, the usual Shanghai 1920s tart and pimp and the runaway French monster bride from the 1600s.

Why do the pictures? It's tradition. Over here, that's about all there is. And well apart from the drunk uncle throwing up on your dress, it's a way to commemorate the occasion.

Paul