Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Caught under the spotlight

I know I come across as a pretty confident guy. Well, at least I hope so :) At work I can rattle off a list of instructions perfectly without a single tremor in my voice - despite the nagging doubts in my head - playing the role of the suavely confident, competent physician.

Last night I realized how wrong I was. After last week's hedonistic pleasures ( I am sure Big Bicep Barry would count three cakes as hedonism ), I decided to cap it off with a final night out on the town and ended up at a quiant ristorante in the historical quarter of town. It served delicious pasta, cheap beer and a lovely Filipino man strumming the guitar on the side.

Met some of my friends and colleagues over there - my usual working posse - and I actually invited Barry to come along since he was actually in the neighbourhood ( cliched though that sounds ). And though I had a bit of a sniffle, I picked the table closest to the cool night breeze so that Barry's hard nipples would be better appreciated. :) I shall not regale you with the fact that I ate pasta and several chicken wings liberally splashed with sauce and Barry had a soursop drink and two wings but hell, I just did that, didn't I? :)

But what happened during the meal stunned me even more. Just as I was polishing off my final wing, the Filipino strummer waved over to Barry ( who actually turned out to be a regular at the dive ) and just called him up to the stage for a song. Instead of fainting from the shock of being called up, Barry just gave me a wink and a smile. Surprisingly ballsy ( surely an understatement... the man has bloody big brass cojones! ), the man just went straight up to the small stage, coolly picked up the mike and proceeded to give me a minor heart attack by belting out a jazzy Mandarin song.

I love jazz


Secret talents. Who knew he was secretly a karaoke heavenly king! Crispy fried chicken and chocolate sundaes scare him but obviously being shoved unprepared under the spotlight doesn't.

Of course you'd actually catch me dead hanging out under the spotlight with a mike in my hand - it would take a whole truckload of alcohol and a loaded gun to my head actually. The sheer embarassment. The possible humiliation. Honestly, I have too many issues with self-esteem to pick up that mike in public. What if someone throws a sangria in my face? What if the whole unadoring audience just picks up and leaves the establishmen? What if they toss me out of the bar for disturbing the peace with my off-tone warbling? Obviously Barry with his surprisingly mellow voice - and his biceps - would be able to ward off any would-be bouncers intent on kicking him out. Lacking the voice and the biceps, I'd be literally splattered on the sidewalk before I finished the first intro.

I speak in public often enough - all prepared with my lecture notes and my powerpoint presentation but impromptu speeches give me the heebie-jeebies. What more to sing in public?

Guess my hidden talents will forever remain between the shower head and me.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

As if getting served with a lovely Filipino man wasn't good enough, now you have a hunky muscle man serenading you? I'm just about to die with envy here

savante said...

Oh, wait. Let me make it clear that he wasn't serenading me. He was just singing to all and sundry.

Serenades to me are better done in the privacy of the bedroom. And much less attire.

Paul

Anonymous said...

Okay.. so are you seeing BBB or not? ;-)

Have been following your trials and tribulations since i stumbled onto your site couple of months ago. Makes me wonder what you are like in real life! ;-0

Still.. gotta have fun while you can...

Anonymous said...

I don't do Karaoke. But I do do Shakespeare. :o) (Stand up and talk, yeah. Stand up and sing, no way!)

I only recently discovered Mandarin songs, when another blogger sent me Wo Bu Nan Guo (Sun Yan Zhi). Wow! I hadn't realised how sensuous Mandarin can sound. Hmm. :oP

So did you get Barry to see you safely home to your door? Maybe one night you can invite him in to explore your hidden talent in the shower while he croons to you in Mandarin. ;o)

Tell BBB that real men have digestions of cast iron. (But don't mention that they then spend the next 29 hours working it off in the gym, LOL!)

Michael said...

A man who will get up without reservation and sing in front of a crowd like that is also a man who is a wild fuck. It's like an axiom. You knew that, right?

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's so amazing!!!! I am sure I'd fall in love with him in a second if I saw that. Well, the key not to be humiliated in public would be to get drunk a lot!!! You will have fun a lot. :-) BUt then I don't think that can be applied to the presentation situation. :-)

savante said...

anonymous, I am seeing BBB as a friend. Nothing more at the moment. That answer your question? :) What I am like in real life? Well, at work I am actually kinda serious and certainly not as much of a goofball.

lost! A recital! I love it! Good luck.

ru, mandarin is sensuous? Really? :) It all depends on the speaker, I'm sure.

Michael. I am stunned. And surprisingly aroused.

shigeki, it would take a lot of alcohol to get me drunk enough to sing in public.

Paul