Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Matchmaking mamas

Once in a while I moan about the fact that I don't have any potential candidates for a lover but that's where I'd be lying. In fact I actually have more than a few. Unfortunately... although I am looking for someone sweet, funny, charming and masculine, my overly ambitious nurses seem to excel in covering all the bases except the last. Yeah, the masculine part seems to have been conveniently misplaced in their criteria.

Yes. Following the old cliche of eligible doctors ( who must be married off at all costs! ), these budding matchmaking mamas do actually throw their marriageable daughters at me.

Unfortunately I'm not much into catching them. Any other straight guy would have been puffed up in their conceit but I was unmoved. Impersonating a Chinese matchmaker of the past, one of the more persistent biddies shoved a photo album of her darling daughter at me today, extolling her manifold virtues. Not only can the girl quote molecular biology, she can also cook a gourmet meal, sing operatic arias and rescue little stray dogs from speeding buses. Okay, so I am exaggerating more than a little. As I spent my time trying my best to assume some modicum of interest, I started squirming uneasily on my seat since it was highly embarassing for me - and I would assume somewhere in the hallowed halls of a English college, a poor innocent girl is blushing right to her ears.

However I did my best in turning the offer down, claiming a prior engagement. I bit my tongue to keep myself from blurting out the fact that an eligible son or nephew would have been more palatable to my taste.

Okay. A moment to ponder the image of Chris Evans naked and oiled on a platter with grapes. Sigh.

See why I need a permanent boyfriend to ward away such attempts?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugh... I've been there quite a lot. It was tiring to come up with all the excuses so I outed myself... I wish I could do that at work, too.

Just make sure you don't stare at the photo too much when people offer you to see. I know you are seeing something wrong with her but all they think would be that you are very very interested in her. :-)

Anonymous said...

Unless you plan on telling those matchmaking mamas that you have a permanent bf when you get one, I don't see how that would stop them from introducing nubile ah lians to you

savante said...

I was staring hard so that I can find her address.. and write a letter to the poor girl telling her that her mother's advertising her wares.

Paul

savante said...

If I had a permanent boyfriend ala Chris Evans, I would drag him all over the hospital to show off. I am cheap that way.

Paul

MrBunnyBan said...

Married off at all costs, eh? Heh. They're just being kind - they probably remember what it was like being alone and lonely. Okay, that and they may be kolot, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

Hey, lotsa people think you'd make a good husband. Feel good about it, man!

Anonymous said...

I had to ban my relatives from trying to marry me off every time we had a family gathering. No, I didn't out myself like Shigeki, I just cultivated the image of the lone wolf ... with teeth.

Paul I was going to ask whether you'd tell people if you had a permanent bf, but I think you've already answered that. :oD

mikey said...

Thank God I don't have such a problem. I am too gay for any mother wants to introduce her daughters (or sons) to me.

Anonymous said...

It helps to be in a relationship, especially one you can be proud of. I hope you get there. Even when I came out, suddenly, there was a plethora of people who had a gay friend or had a friend that had a gay brother, nephew, etc., that they wanted to introduce me to. That only works if you're into what they're offering.

Legolas said...

I'll be dealing with that too starting from now. Firstly, my Mom, then my grandma, aunties, uncles, colleagues, friends (who are in the blur)...

AJ said...

Poor Paul.

I've been telling people how I want a girl friend who will argue with me & that I'm in love with my car.

Sure they think I'm not all there, but it sure beats being set up!

Jay said...

Just tell them that at this point in your life, all you want is casual sex with as many women as possible, so yes please, you'd LOVE to meet ALL their daughters.

Anonymous said...

Well, maybe you're just like me..do not have the guts to out yourself. It will create nasty scene if a muslim guy like me to come out at work of which 99% of them muslim.

hcpen said...

really laughed out to myself when i saw the comment on having to stop urself from blurting how u would REALLY be more interested in meeting their sons and nephews....also maybe u could take the tip from Jay and start telling the aunties that u r really are a playboy and enjoy no strings attached relationships, i'm sure they wouldn't be bothering you anymore after that...