Saturday, March 04, 2006

Breakfast Blurbs

Damn, I have bills to pay!Thought this might come as a surprise to those who marvel at my incredible volubility, there are actually days when I find myself running out of things to blog about. Some of the things I do on an everyday basis are so pathetically mundane I doubt even I could bear reading it myself. Like every other average salaryman, I rush out of bed to go to work in the mornings and come back late in the evenings after running my various errands. In these jaded times, paying bills, buying groceries and dragging my clothes to the laundry just doesn't seem to excite as much attention as it probably did in the times when wandering cavemen would find a flickering flame near miraculous.

Then fortunately, something momentous occurs that practically begs to be posted. That happened just this morning and despite my groggy, semiconscious state, I just had to write! Somehow during the process of writing my blog, I've gained some little notoriety online and that has apparently caught up with me since just this morning as we had a celebratory post-call breakfast, Shameless Shalom suddenly blurted out that she's been following my scandalous exploits.

It was quite the anti-climax for the both of us actually since no glaring spotlight flashed on me ( much as I always imagined it did for the Paul of biblical times as he wandered aimlessly around Damascus possibly searching for the mall ), the earth didn't crack open to swallow the hardly-ever-sinning heathen ( though some sin with Chris Evans certainly would be worth the penance ) and thankfully, I wasn't accosted by a throng of militant gay bashers armed with broken bats. Already hideous homely enough and I wouldn't need bloody bruises to add to my charm.

Since it wasn't the first time I'd come out to someone, it actually didn't occur to me to scream like a schoolgirl, issue a blanket denial and crouch under the table in hiding either. Hell, it might have come as a bigger shocker to me ( and certainly far more titillating tidbit of gossip! ) if Shameless Shalom had revealed to me that she was harbouring the lusty unborn child of Handsome Hui.

Still it was a bit of a surprise - that my blog has obviously found its way to the computers of even my close friends! How did that happen!! - and a little embarassing to realize that some of my less savoury comments might have been read by the presumably innocent. :) What must they think of me?! That I'm some crazed, libidinous sex maniac who lusts after oblivious big-biceped guys? Well, that's partly true but that doesn't mean I'd want it broadcast to the public :)

So despite railing over our overly politically-correct, mealy-mouthed generation, I shall have to lay off some of my skankier comments ( like the fact that I found one of my fresh-faced patients yesterday absolutely scrumptious and would have gladly asked for his number if he wasn't obviously pure jailbait! ) and at least make a fair attempt at some proper decorum.

And obviously since she could be lurking silently around ( instead of composing a blog of her own! ), I shall only speak of Shameless Shalom from now on in impossibly glowing terms - with no mention of her cavorting in a supertight figure-hugging sarong kebaya and her jiggling kerongsangs :P

Oops. I did it again. Ah hell, she already knows I'm evil.

You Are 84% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!


God, this doesn't sound very good, does it? No wonder Big Bicep Barry's scared.

18 comments:

Sue said...

Well, I say contrary to your nature, throw caution to the wind and say just exactly how you feel. Let the chips fall how they may. We, your readers will be right behind you. Well, we were there last time you looked. :)

Jay said...

It's time for me to come clean. I too, know you in real life. I've actually been living in your airing cupboard for the last few months, watching you shudder every time Barry brushes past you, and seeing you sniff his Pantene-soft hair when you think he isn't looking.

Now go bring me food, I'm hungry.

savante said...

Don't worry, sue. Doubt I could censor myself even if I tried!

Damn, that's what's been hiding in my cupboard!! I knew it!

Paul

Dave said...

omg, you are 84% evil. my...
but being evil is good in someway. At least you can protect yourself from the other evils around you.

Anonymous said...

im only 52% evil.... and my friends think im mean... pft! i dont mind even if ur downright malevolent, ur entries never fail to make me smile :D

Squido said...

Something is seriously wrong with the test. How can i be 72% evil?!

Everyone i know told me i'd rot in hell!

Stupid %&*$#@ test...

Maximus Leo said...

Well - not surprise if you were found out! :-) You have a loyal set of bloggers who follow you around! not stalking though. If I was to live in Malaysia, hmmm.... you could be someone I know... hahaha. Anyway, good to come clean with your friends sometimes. It's easier that way.... only if I could do it more but then again - I'm still hiding in the cupboard :-) hehehee.

Anonymous said...

You are one of the very popular bloggers so I guess that thing would happen one way or the other. But it doesn't mean a bad thing, does it?

And I didn't know you were that evil. Wow, I will have to remember not to piss off Paul. St. paul. :-)

hrugaar said...

Paul, the good thing is that friends often know more about you than you think. The better thing is that even when they do find out stuff they didn't know about you, they can still stand by you and love you for who you are. :o)

The best thing ... I am only 06% evil. "You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm." Heheheh. (Actually that test must be rigged, I'm not even that evil either!)

canardbidon said...

Bah!! According to this 'test' of yours, little devil here is only 48% evil!!! grrr...

Your friends are stalking you only cos you're beautiful.. so don't worry!

savante said...

I just can't believe that I turned into such an evil monster, dave! Must have scared some of the usual comments away :P

Then again, designdoc, isn't it odd that the malevolent comments are always the most fascinating :)

squido, I think it's rigged. I can't be that supremely evil. Maybe a relative 60%?

Ian, it would be cool to have a gorgeous Chris Evans lookalike tagging along behind me :P

Me popular? :O Shigeki!

Maida, you are certainly the personification of evil :P

ru, only that little. I am stunned. What have you been doing? Come over here and sin with me! Same goes for canard.

Paul

Asmadi said...

im going through ur blog was good :)

savante said...

Hi, you're another asmadi! Took me a while!

Paul

savante said...

Go try it! How didja do?

Paul

Just Me said...

One of my fears is that someone I know is going to read my blog and be completely offended by what they read. But until that day happens I am not going to worry about it ;)

Anonymous said...

I found your blog after reading your fiction. I must say your writing style is most entertaining. I suspect you will develop a following.

Anonymous said...

Im only 04% evil. How cum ah???

savante said...

Well, we can't please everyone, cr :)

Thanks, Blue!

Shocked that you are such a good man! How is that possible, pakcik!

Paul