Friday, March 24, 2006

Come look at my larder

Sometimes the oft-joked-about maxim about a bachelor's junk-laden fridge can actually come true. This afternoon, I came back tired from work hoping to get some quick bites from the fridge only to realize that the pantry is almost empty. As usual.

Since my last attempt at a substantial breakfast comprising of Nigella Lawson-like pancakes, I have yet to replenish my supplies apart from adding a couple of eggs and milk. As I stared at my woefully empty pantry, I realized that healthy diet proponent Big Bicep Barry would certainly develop an apoplexy if he made a quick inventory of my fridge.

Do not do this at home, kids.

1) A box of Turkish Delight - desperately hoarding them till I can pay another visit to Istanbul to replenish
2) Several boxes of Cadbury chocolates - for the occasional chocoholic fix
3) A large jar of Peanut Butter and Jelly
4) Hershey's Chocolate Syrup - also for the chocoholic fix
5) A tub of Haagen Dazs Bailey's Irish Cream ice cream - good for wailing over faithless men
6) Leftover curry brinjals - from two days back when I stumbled through dinner myself
7) Four eggs
8) Two cartons of milk
9) Guinness Malta and 100 Plus soft drinks
10) A dozen cheese-filled pork sausages - yeah, cholesterol laden heart-attack / stroke heaven
11) Two packets of Twisties Cheese Flavoured Corn snack - courtesy of the visiting samaritan Daniel on one of his mercy missions to the starving poor

Oddly enough for an Asian, there's no rice in my larder. Add that to several packages of instant noodles, some half-empty muesli cartons and I can already see Barry shaking his head in mock recrimination. Seriously, apart from the fortified muesli and the hi-calcium, low-fat milk ( that Barry claims to drink almost religiously since he's *ahem* a growing boy ), I doubt there's anything even vaguely healthy about my diet. Conscientious nutritionists everywhere are suffering from nervous qualms just reading this, I'm sure. Luckily these days I have Charming Calvin to commiserate with - the man subsists on guavas for dinner with some ironing for dessert!

Horrifying. However since I certainly wasn't up to stir-frying anything ( in my groggy post-call state, I just might fall face-first into the burning wok ), I ended up with my usual PB&J sandwiches - which although possibly nutritionally deficient turned out to be absolutely delicious.

Finger Licking Good

A short note here. To any prospective husbands reading this, never fear. Once I turn into a dedicated housefrau ( for my hopefully jet-setting hunk of a husband ), I shall be Stepford clone Bree van Der Kamp personified and shall not leave my larder similarly bereft!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Peanuts Butter, I LOVE it! Which brand?

Malta? It's purely sugar syrup + caramel! YUCK!!! YUCKYUCKYUCK!!!

rgds
shine

savante said...

Smucker's of course :) Is there any other sort?

The malt drink? Yeah, it's an acquired taste.

Paul

MrBunnyBan said...

Ewww...malt.

Squido said...

The turkish delights reminded me of Holden's entry sometime back about Narnia.

Thou shalt not betray thee familiy for turkish delights

Got me laughing like a deranged hyenna x)

NeiLDC said...

Hmm, fridge sometimes are empty when you crave more what you wanted..
Try to SANDWICH MIXTO, or SCRAMBLE EGG WITH CHAMPIGNON....
rgds
n.armstrong

Petie said...

Twisties eh?? I love that snack when I was a kid. I only like the chicken flavoured one though.

I think they stop making that in TH. If you gonna come to BKK again please bring me some of those? :)

Will said...

You know, if Big Bicep Barry IS reading your blog, the smartest thing he could do right now is show up at your door with a bag of groceries and fix dinner for you. You hear that, Big Bicep Barry????

Just Me said...

Uhmmm, chocolate.

I think what you need is a good man to have your meals ready for you when you get home from a long day at work. Let him worry about cooking and shopping. You should start taking applications!
Where do I sign up?

AvR said...

When you say "100 plus soft drinks", do you mean one hundred cans of soda?

Cheese filled pork sausages?!? Yuckity-yuck-yuck! (Good jewish boys like me would NEVER eat pork sausage.)

Anonymous said...

'Häagen Dazs Bailey's Irish Cream ice cream' - It's the best.. I think I'm addicted to it..
Tasted it first when I was in Belgium last year. There was this huge Häagen Dazs ice cream palace, like something out of my dreams. I think I spent half of my money just on ice cream while on that trip (sitting in that café, trying out all 35 flavours), no need to mention, that I also gained some weight. But every gram was worth it!
I almost wept when I found my favourite flavour (Bailey's of course) here at our local supermaket.. (hm.. have to buy some tomorrow..)
They have even a flavour-finder on their website, check this out: http://www.haagendazs.com/segflf.do

ok.. think I'm obsessed..

hrugaar said...

My fridge at the moment has milk, beer, milk, indian food, green beans, corn-on-the-cob, more milk, bread, chocolate, Lemon Fanta (I don't drink that btw, it belongs to Khaldan), oh and more milk. :oP But we have two deep freezes, one upstairs and one downstairs (my mom's), stuffed with all kinds of goodies. I'm quite good at food shopping, but kinda lazy when it comes to cooking just for myself.

Jay said...

OK< I'm assuming that your cheese flavoured Twisties aren't actually in your fridge, but in your cupboard!

Before I do this - you do know that there's a meme floating about on this very topic - I'm going to go food shopping. No way am I revealing what I've got in the fridge at the moment.

ça va pas la tête said...

Paul, they said that satisfying the stomach is a sure way to hook a man... so you better start stocking up your fridge... NOW

savante said...

Well, it's an acquired taste like I said, Daniel.

Yeah, turkish delights are that addictive, squido!

Scrambled eggs with champignon?

No problem bringing Twisties over, Pete. We don't have Cheetos over here btw.

Seriously doubt barry cooks, Will. :)

Milady, Bring some brownies over now!

cr, i want to be the one who stays home to cook :)

Meant the drink 100 plus. Well, ari, for you I'd get the chicken sausages then. Kosher enough?

camydi, I love it too! And there's a new Mayan chocolate flavour!

Usually ry not to overstock my fridge since I might not have the time to do any cooking for myself so I leave it empty, ru.

Jay, we already know what you buy in chinatown :) Now spill about your fridge!

Will do so once i turn into a househusband, ca va. Till then I gotta work long hours and the food might spoil if I overstock.

Paul

AJ said...

Oh how lovely! Finally a man who admits to stocking up on chocolate & junk food! I think a full fridge is the next best thing after massages...

Never tried the baileys ice cream, tho I expect it to be fantastic, if you like it.

Mark said...

Darlin' you need to get yourself domesticated now - how else will any potential beaus judge if you're up to their exacting standards ;-D

Anonymous said...

Man you've got a sweet tooth, a quick inventory of your items counts more sugar-laden food in there than anything else! What's a Turkish Delight? Pardon my ignorance. :-)

hrugaar said...

Paul, do you not have a deep freeze? Much more useful than a fridge ... food can stay neglected in there much longer before it attains sentience and demands the vote. ;oP

Musang said...

food-wise, i'm glad i'm at my mom's currently. good foods on table everyday every meal hours.

and if i cook maggi mee, i'm happy to toss some prawns, fishballs, eggs and vege into it and make one very healthy maggi mee.

but the bad thing is... berat badan dah naik 5kg lagi!!!! arrggghhhhh...

Rick Bettencourt said...

Now if you don't start eating better you're going to get sick again! Do I need to send a doctor to you? No, wait a minute you are one.

Okay, I'm getting frustrated. : )

Take care of yourself my friend!

savante said...

Thanks, aj! That's praise indeed - and Bailey's really is good.

Darien, I need to stop work before I can turn into a desperate househusband!

Turkish Delight is a sweet, soft, sinful candy found in Istanbul!

Darlin ru, I'm single. I don't need to restock that much food.

Aiya, bet you were 5 kgs too think before, musang!

Will take care, rick!

Paul

Anonymous said...

I love peanut butter ;) yum yum..spread in on a toast bread n then sprinkle it with nestum cereal..so nice.

oh..btw, u should try this new Twisties Color. Limited Edition. So damn wicked. It stated as "see your tongue change color when 2 Twisties are consumed. It changes from one color to another". Me n my partner having so much fun last nite eating this stuff..