Sunday, March 26, 2006

Seven seconds of sex

I admit it. I'm Paul. And I'm possibly a sexaholic.

Why possibly, you might say? It's a common, cherished assumption that men think of sex every 28 seconds - how to get it, where to get it, what to do once they have gotten it - but even more shockingly, queer guys are supposed to think of sex every 9 seconds. Just think of what Michael Novotny once said...

"The thing you need to know is: It's all about the sex. They say men think about sex every 28 seconds. Of course, that's straight men. With gay men, it's every nine seconds."


Obviously an erroneous conclusion since most of the guys I've met seem to think of sex only occasionally. Or on a weekly basis. Or on that sunny Sunday on the beach during the annual holiday. Like one of my study respondents, Charming Calvin only thinks about it every two days.

Underwear boy
Wonder what he's thinking about now...

Since I was bored, I confronted another respondent Big Bicep Barry with my scientific findings only to have him watching me warily as he would a crazed child predator. If I'd made any sudden moves, I wouldn't have been surprised if the skittish stallion took off running into the night.

Barry : Seven seconds? You've gotta be kidding me.
Paul : I think mine's five. Whoops. Look, your shirt is partially unbuttoned and I can see your chest. See, I thought about it again.
Barry ( laughing nervously ): Very funny.
Paul : This is fucking unfair. What is wrong with everyone? I can't be the only freaking oversexed guy around! How about you?
Barry : Definitely not every five seconds. Uhh... maybe once a day?
Paul : Once a day!
Barry : Fine. Maybe twice.
Paul : You only think of sex twice a day!
Barry : What I think is you need to calm down and drink your tea.

Okay. So I was yelling the word sex a bit too loudly and drawing the attention of several curious ( and obviously shocked ) onlookers.

Seriously. Am I the only one?

37 comments:

MrBunnyBan said...

They really are. I check out my brother's comics when he gets them. Real good stuff.

MrBunnyBan said...

...ooops, wrong blog comment window. Heeheeheehee....

Anyway, about thinking about sex, you know me, right? ;)

Anonymous said...

C'mon, dude. 7 fucking seconds? That's a bit too long. What does your brain do in between? Does it, like, just go blank??!! Sorry bout the wicked comments. Just felt like pulling your leg before I lose access to reading yr blog for 5 days. :-)

Anonymous said...

7 seconds? Well, I am not sure if it's 7 or not for me. I mean it could be nano-seconds. It could be once per minute. Everytime I pass by a cute guy, I think of things I'd want to do on him. But thinking of that frequently doesn't make me more stupid, does it? I hope not....

Rick Bettencourt said...

At least now I know I have good company.

Just Me said...

No, it's not just you. I am not suer if it is every 7 seconds but I do think about it througout the day.

Francis Ford Faggola said...

I think about it all the time. In everything I do.

Um, seven seconds? Sounds about right. Maybe a little less for me... :P

Anonymous said...

Boy, that conversation with Barry cracked me up. You did give him some major hints.. wonder why the heck he's not getting the message..

Since I hardly remember last time I had some, I find myself thinking about it pretty often trough the day... Tea of course ;op

Sue said...

Well, I certainly hope you are not thinking about sex when you are supposed to be saving peoples lives!
(Just kidding. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!) Is it too early for April Fools Day?

hrugaar said...

Depends what I'm doing. I have a very concentrated mental focus when I'm reading or working on something; so unless I'm really so horny that it can disrupt my focused thought, it's only when I stop to take a break that I fall back into normal thought patterns again.

Otherwise, yeah, pretty often - though it depends what you mean by 'thinking about sex'. I'd not necessarily think about the actual sex acts, but thinking about sexy guys - or fixating on one guy in particular, and about romantic stuff, not simply just sex - yes, a lot of the time.

Anonymous said...

I dont know..I has sex on Friday, Saturday n Sunday...maybe cause I didn't thing about sex that much...

But when I do think about it..then I will not get one. Especially when it come to AA or II, I will think about it 24-7 without fail, n sometimes even in my dream..but I will never get either one of them...

So, cause of that..i dont think about it that much..n as a result..i keep finding myself having to wash the bedsheet oh so often...;)

Anonymous said...

thinking about sex? Hmmm...errr....quite often....errr...hmmmm...all the time..hahahaha....on where to get it, how to get it, who to do it with, what to do, or remembering how it was when you did it... hahahaha

Oh well, my straight cousin thinks of sex quite often actually..in fact..my whole family are kinky and perverted...you're basically talking about a family where during weddings, the cabaret show has the most risque jokes and there was even a tiger show with ping pong balls being shot at the groom by the specially hired entertainers...yup..tat's my family... over sex crazed bunch of people whose pastimes is to talk about it or who is doing it if we are not talking about food.....hahahaha..yes...sex and food is the topic of conversation in our family reunion..heck...whenever we meet..hahahaha.

That's why my straight cousin, who knows I'm gay, says that either we turn out into skirt chasers or serial polygamist if we're straight or absolutely unfaithful lovers when we're gay....ie. thinking of the next guy you plan to have sex with, when you are doing it with someone else....hahahahahaha..hoo boy....

Jay said...

I must be undersexed! I think about it quite a bit, but certainly not once every five or seven or nine or even twenty eight seconds.

Maybe I should watch more porn.

Anonymous said...

Err...maybe Quavadis is right by saying "...or absolutely unfaithful lovers when we're gay....ie. thinking of the next guy you plan to have sex with, when you are doing it with someone"

Can LRT be a normal LRT without having an open relationship? or without having someone outside the relationship to satisfy your sexual lust? can we just remain faithful to the one that we love?

Will said...

My research has shown that 90% of gay men think about sex every few minutes, and the other 10% lie about it. =)

Alex said...

Sex thoughts just pop in my mind whenever it feels like it.... I dunno the interval between thoughts... is there any? Maybe it's one continuous thought, punctuated occassionally with other stuff.... :P

Anonymous said...

it is inevitable that guys think about sex that much.. it is in our hormones you know... guys, though girls also have but just a little, have a lot of androgen and testosterone (that's the main characteristic of the y chromosome) and these hormones make someone feel horny and yeah think about sex..

it is normal

Jason said...

7 seconds? I have way more things on my mind that just sex... And Paul I know you do think about it every 5 seconds, with you always asking James and me to get you a cute white boy. :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'll admit it. Sometimes I think about sex every 7 to 9 seconds. But that's only when I'm directly involved in something that is related to sex in some way. When I eat, I don't think about sex. I think about food. And it's relative with other things too.

hrugaar said...

Yeah, Alex's suggestion there works for me. ;oP

akihisa said...

Nah, you're not the only one, Paul!! ;p

Isn't it funny sex talk between two guys can draw strange/shocked looks from onlookers?! You should have made them squirmed a lil bit more. LOL!

NeiLDC said...

hey, im counting to it, oops there a gain, what am i thinking? every minute and everyseconds count!" one, little two , little three, little indians, four....."

Brown Dawg said...

Every 6 seconds tops dude. Sometimes its the only thing on my mind.

Me said...

Ooooo haha. I think of it when i'm bored.
I'm boring.

Kiss My Mike said...

hmmm, let's see. what are you touching now?

allan said...

7 seconds???... let's talk about sex... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... let's talk about sex again... hehehe

AJ said...

Sex sex sex! I think about sex even when I shouldnt be (every 5 seconds maybe?). Its all very disturbing but its most prolly cos I've not been getting any. Can't you tell by the way I blog?

Anonymous said...

im getting laid tonite. anyone wanna join me ;)

Maximus Leo said...

Always .... always. In fact too much! Need to surf the web everynight to release "stress".

I think I need phychiatric help here! :-)

Anonymous said...

darn all these work-thoughts running in my mind most of the time! takes my mind off thinking about sex. hehehe. but then again, work treats me good with gorgeous male models and i just can't help but think of nasty things to do to/with them.

CTG said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CTG said...

Hi Paul. I think of sex, but not always the action. Sometimes, just a glance at a hottie will set of a thought, which is not necessarily sexual, but it is hot! And it reminds me of my BF - yum. Take care, CTG

savante said...

Whoa, lotsa comments.

Guessed that about you, Daniel :)

Boy, what does my brain think of in between? Books, food, shopping, home groceries stuff - and then it's all back to men and sex.

If it made people stupid, I'd be a simpleton now, shigeki :)

So join in the crowd, rick. Glad I'm not the only one around, cr and holden.

camydi, didn't I say before? Barry knows. He just isn't that great with commitment.

In between saving lives, I do think about doing something with the living, sue. What is life without sex? :O

Ru darlin, there is concentrated mental focus for about 6 minutes and then a hot guy walks by and I get distracted.

Pakcik, you lucky dawg, share the bounty!

quavadis, invite us to the next wedding. Sounds like quite an event!

You undersexed? Jay, I seriously think not.

Think you're right about that, will. Or we could take alex's idea that we all think perpetually about sex with the occasional break.

Glad it's normal, monmon. Not such a deviant then :)

Jase, so why aren't you and james working on that for me? Pack him up nicely and bring him home.

All depends on what I'm eating and who I'm eating with, Brian :)

I was pretty loud, ahmad. The police would have arrested us for public indecency.

n.armstrong. Bet you thought about it again while reading the comments.

Will get a picture, evanloong.

Good to know, brown dawg and kevin! Was feeling deviant!

Touching nothing, kissmymike :)

disu, thought about it again while writing this.

And I think I have the aj syndrome too. We need to get laid. Ian would certainly agree, I'm sure.

Mark, if I were in your shoes, I'd be thinking of sex all the time with all those male models.

You lucky man, ctg.

Paul

hrugaar said...

Paul dear - oh yes, five or six minutes concentraion before the quick 'commercial break' for lewd fantasies, that sounds about right. ;oP

Will said...

It's sort of always at the back of my mind for me. Then it sort of builds up and keeps pushing to the fore until I actually have sex. Then it disappears for like, a minute.

Then it starts building up...

savante said...

That sounds just about right, ru.

Will, always knew you were a hound dog :)

Paul

Anonymous said...

I heard if you think about sex too often you will go blind. Hey! who turned out the lights?