Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Barry's Kryptonite

Since I felt pretty safe with a disapproving someone far away on a short holiday - and certainly not close enough to give me his disappointed sighs and blank stares of recrimination - I decided to take a wild risk! True to his surfer dude attitude, Big Bicep Barry has decided to take off for a weekend of sun, sand and sea, armed with his board shorts ( not skimpy Speedos unfortunately ) and his new camera. You might be asking about me - but hell, do I seem to you like a guy who goes surfing?

Still, I confirmed his position by sms several irritating times but still kept a watch just in case he lied, the sneaky bastard, and jumped on me to prevent my bad behaviour. Making sure that none of his erstwhile gym buddies were watching, I sneaked out of the house and made my way to the nearest joint for my cholesterol fix. Should have been safe enough surely since no alfalfa-munching, desperately-dieting gym freak would even hang around close to such depraved communities. It might be his Kryptonite after all but for me it was sinful, delicious fried chicken that I could really take a bite into.

Poultry abuse. Growth hormones. Cholesterol. Fuck all that. Let's just say the good ol' Colonel surely knew what to do with his eleven herbs and spices.

Yum...
Fine. It's a watermelon but have you seen a guy with those pecs eating fried chicken?

No way in hell I'm gonna get those six-packs now but if some seriously minging guys can get somehow bribe or sleep their way into Cleo's Most Eligible Bachelor List this year, I'm surely not all that bad. Certainly not chopped liver. Unfortunately even as I chowed down a chicken wing, none of the guys I knew seemed to support my wrongful doings.

Calvin : I'm eating crackers.
Sally : Snore.
Barry : How could you! It's evil!
My ISO : You're eating KFC again, aren't you? Bad boy.

Obviously I need new friends.

18 comments:

quicksilverlining said...

fatless people rot in less time. and with a bit of oxygen deprivation, us fat people have a post humous use as soap!

gross.

AJ said...

kfc! the bane of many a gay man! curse sanders! curse chooky! but no curse on the butch KFC managers...

Musang said...

*sigh*

i'm so going to kfc tomorrow. and die of eczema the next day.

unfortunately, it's my kryptonite too. fuck.

Anonymous said...

hahaha!! the number of times i stood in the tube, the smell of the kfc and fries coming to haunt me as someone,usually a fat black woman, sits there and licks their fingers....yes its cruel my friends!!humph..we gay men and our vanity..

Anonymous said...

I love chicken :)

that day when I had my housewarming party, the menu came in the form of KFC, ayam golek, kepak ayam, sate ayam, ayam masak merah n ayam madu among other thing..

but i love mcdonalds fried chicken more ;)

Anonymous said...

every once in a while i would get this craving to eat kfc. total wreck to my diet though but i figured, hey better enjoy my kfc while i still can. i can always burn off the calories later at the gym.

hrugaar said...

Hey Paul, I have no aversion to KFC. It'll make a change from the full cooked breakfasts I've been eating every day this week. We'll haul you in there when we visit, and get a huge takeaway to eat in Barry's truck, heheheh.

Jay said...

-sigh- I'm addicted to KFC too. None of those pansy-ass Twister wraps or Popcorn thingies for me, I only eat the chicken. I suspect one of the "11 herbs and spices" is a drug of some sort.

By the way, those 50 'eligible' bachelors? Minging is right! Jeezuz. Some of them are horrrrrrible.

Squido said...

Wow, maybe i should attempt to send an sms that says i'm eating KFC.

But my freinds will probably just send a 'Fuck. I don't give a damn'

Yes, i need new friends too xD

Wild Reeds said...

:-)

Maximus Leo said...

If the 6 pack abs was not my goal, I'll have KFC almost everyday! Sigh...the vanity of a gay closeted guy! What can I say??

But having said that, it does wonders to cure hangovers....just can't leave home without KFC...

Anonymous said...

Well if it helps... I had KFC too.

AJ: Which KFC is that?!

hrugaar said...

Oh yeah, the 'eligible batchelors' - urgh, only about four of them (or five at a push) that I'd consider eligible. :oD

Will said...

I love KFC. Long Live the Colonel.

Anonymous said...

Paul

Thanks for your kind message @ my profile....


You have not bothered to read or acknowledge my response though, u bad boy !!

canardbidon said...

yeah what's the deal with cleo malaysia's bachelor list?!?! appalling! shocking! disgraceful!

tho there are a couple of redeeming cuties... but heck, what's the deal with em keeping their shirts on?!

snort

ash said...

havent had kfc in a very long time looo.. kfc just didn't occur to me lah. i can be your new friend! i won't tell you not to eat anything, but i would just show you an obesity before and after picture. i'm a visual kind of person anyway.

savante said...

Barry's my superman :O Where didja get such an idea, evan.

quicksilverlining, thanks for that idea. Gross though that might be :)

Curse chooky, aj :) And which KFC have you been frequenting with the butch managers?! Weeshiong and I wanna know!

musang, we need a low fat kryptonite!

rose, the colonel is AlWAYS hot. Then again, maybe he has a hotter son.

Fat black women and their KFC, g_C :)

Pakcik, you are making me hungry, you bad man.

Asmadi, you are right but I hate the gym even more!

ru, eat in Barry's truck? He'd be horrified that we're tempting hm with cholesterol and fat!

Jay, you're right! Minging, huh!

squido, I'll be your new friend. So will wild reeds.

Ian, make sure you give us a picture of your six pack when you're done starving yourself :)

Thanks, Will. Time enough they started a gay join for KFC.

Manjam! Will write!

Too few redeeming cuties, canard. I mean what are the mingers doing on the list :O I know we're supposed to look beyond their looks but hey, it's eye candy issue!

Show me a before and after, ash? I'd have to spank ya :)

Paul