Friday, April 21, 2006

What about Hui?

It took me a while to realize that I am not a minimalist fan. When I first purchased my own place, I seriously imagined that the plain simple Scandinavian modern ethic would suit me so I shopped around with that in mind. After all if IKEA suited thousands of other gay men, why not me? After a few weeks of haunting design showrooms, I realized that the clean-cut lines, the white, blond wood and the light pastels didn't suit me at all. If there's a way to describe my style, it has to be the exotic romantic - a touch of the Paris Apartment chic, the Shanghai Bordello glamour and the sweet spice of the Indian harem. I like bold, saturated colours, sheer silk and organza, chandeliers and Turkish lamps, gleaming gold and copper.

Nothing plain for me, that's for sure. Sheer, unadulterated decadence which is certainly a hallmark of a Scorpio male. No matter where I live, I tend to leave my mark... feathering my nest if you will. Perhaps a wall tapestry here, new draperies here, a carpet here, a Turkish lamp at the side.

Obviously not everyone shares my opinion on interior decorating.

The White Countess...
Someone needs my advice sorely!

Not everyone's invited to this eligible bachelor's swinging pad but I finally had the opportunity to visit Handsome Hui in his cave - and I finally understand why he doesn't exactly throw wild, uninhibited parties over at his humble abode. Not only is it humble, it's certainly a cave.

Living in squalor was the best I could come up with as I shook my head in sheer disbelief. Apart from his somewhat well-maintained but spartan bedroom ( I say that kindly ), the rest of his home seems to have been left to ill disrepair - if not disrepute. Not only did the front porch look as if it'd been firebombed during the Iraqi invasion and the lawn flash-fried by the following inferno, there was an odd rusted swing set that looked almost ominous rattling with the chilly breeze. Thick cobwebs lined the edges of his living room ala Shelob's cave, crater-deep pockmarks dotted the walls and there was a prickly eerie sense that I'd literally entered a stereotypical long abandoned haunted house.

Confronted him on his sad housekeeping skills and urged him to seek an interior decorator - if not an exorcism - as soon as possible. Told him that his house certainly wasn't fit for human habitation ( since it was obviously a danger to everyone's mental and physical health ) and should be immediately fumigated. The sole tenant himself should be stripped to the skin, thrown into a steaming shower and scrubbed hard ( okay, I didn't say that but I certainly thought about it - it's five seconds after all and I had to think of naked men )

Justly reprimanded, Hui grinned as is his wont and I decided to spare him my petty judgements for a little while at least. What can I say? Cute boys in shorts always win me over.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

someone needs an ultimate makeover!!!!! a rusty swing rattling in the breeze.... CREEPY! u sure he doesnt have bats in his belfry? :)

quicksilverlining said...

ohohoh. i absolutely ADORE interior decorating. i prefer a very strange blend of minimalist and opulence myself. i like to have a minimalist canvas to highlight opulent features. like a BLANK wall to showcase a persian wall rug. too bad i can't afford such niceties. sigh.

Sue said...

Oooo! I love the writing! "Thick cobwebs lined the edges of his living room ala Shelob's cave...". I think you need to help Hui, shorts or not.

I have decorated one room in our house. I have chosen a combination of Indian (bed covers, religious articles), Indonesian (wood furnishings) and Tibetan (rugs, carvings and religious articles) pieces. The colors are spicy and hot. The walls are cool coconut milk. I love it!

That Girl said...

hey paul!!!! im baaaaack!!!
look slike IM gonna haev to start decorating soon!!

Petie said...

If I have a house of my own it owuld be blue. Almost everything in deep blue the shade of blue sapphire.

Decored by my collection of glasses.

But then who am I kidding... I just need a few big rooms to live in and that would be it. Bedroom+computer+book room/living room/bathroom/kitchen.

joshua said...

i can imagine morphing into someone like your Handsome Hui, sometime in the future.

A SLOB.

man, your dream house sounds exotic. and the use of organza. simply complements orgasmic sex.

Anonymous said...

You should have mentioned that thought, Paul! A cute man in shorts is sweet, a cute man with stripped shorts is hardcore! Hehehe. Seriously, that's courageous of you to blurt out the obvious to him and urge him to get some design doctoring. I'm getting one myself, getting my room resized and repainted. I'm thinking of Mediterranean colors - sunset yellow, terracota red, and some browns. What dya think?

savante said...

True enough but even when I was in campus, g_c, I actually had lotsa stuff there :P Quite well equipped.

Ooh, we need advice, designdoctor!

quicksilver... love the persian rug idea! Expensive though. Wait for the bargain times.

sue, that room sounds amazing!

You look absolutely radiant as a bride, grafxgurl!

What collection of glasses, pete?

Hui is certainly not a slob which is why it surprises me that he lives in such squalor :)

That room sounds hot and simply amazing, especially in the context of a Spanish hacienda kinda look, mark.

Paul

Jay said...

Tee hee tee hee you entered Handsome Hui's musty cave.

I like the minimalist look in theory, but there's absolutely no way I could ever stick to it. I have too much junk.

I wonder if the state of his house is unfortunate proof of HH's heterosexuality.

Unknown said...

Paul your taste matches mine :) You so have to help me decorating my house (If I'll ever have one :) Me as a Gemini being just to impatient to spend time collecting the decor items that I dream of. I eventually end up using what I see first.
btw. I'm back ;)

Will said...

You're never invited into my room. It's only fit for MY habitation, apparently.

BTW You could do witha little less auntie-fied persian rugs. Seriously, they never look good anywhere.

Petie said...

It seems that my gay gene led to me like to sparkly things. So I usually like glassware and unusual looking glasses. Mostly are cocktail glass and some of my collection are one bootshape glass and a pitcher.

All of them now covered in dust in a metal shelf above my bed... I really should looking for a place to display them but... There is really no space left in my current house.

pakcik said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
quicksilverlining said...

back home, like in malaysia, my bedroom is done up to a very authentic african theme. i went to this metrojaya warehouse clearance (which was incidentally for staff only), picked up some of their discards from their East India Company displays. Then I got matching bedsheets, and carved up a nice walking stick tall enough for just yoda, and voila!

Anonymous said...

But it didn't happen anything naughty there that we don't know about????

Decoration can be really painful and I think I am kinda straight in that arena...You should decorate and make my apartment fancier. :-)

pakcik said...

you should come to my house Paul. Really full of colors one ;)

My living room have yellow color on one side n orange on the other, b browish color for its beam. talks about striking to the max..he.he..

Anonymous said...

Hmm, Hui's cave sounds very similar to my room. Cobwebs, check. No rusty swing, but there's a splintered, graffitied table out front. And most importantly, very little sunlight. Makes the mornings after less painful.

ça va pas la tête said...

LOL.... Paul, do show us a pic of your apartment. ;)

hrugaar said...

Yeah, of course not all gay men are inordinately houseproud. Hui just sounds more like a party-boy in student accommodation than a nest-builder. :oD

Don't suppose the bell book and candle routine would have a lasting effect on his haunted grotto - and hey, gothic horror (like your Paris chic) has its own style of cool - but giving him a good scrub down in the shower sounds like a great idea.

Which reminds me, do we get to meet Hui when we visit? ;oP

Rick Bettencourt said...

I agree...minimalist decor is not gay enough for me. I like it drippy and ostentatious. Give me high Victorian anyday.

Bandit Talks

MrBunnyBan said...

Hmmm. Am I the only gay man leaning towards minimalist decor? Sure, have decor, but not so much surely. It'll all get in the way of kids running rampant around the house.

MrBunnyBan said...

Er, that doesn't look right. I'd like to correct something I just wrote, but I'm not sure what exactly to change. Oh well.

Musang said...

you've been into hui's bedroom and you didn't do anything?

*sigh*

drug him laa, and have your way while he is unconcious. and do the same to barry when you get invited over to his.

i think... i think my bedroom is kinda like my brother's is... and he knows that i'm gay... and he's one straight guy. oh well, i like it clean, but i'm lazy. i'm one bad gay example.

*eating maggi kari in bedroom*

Maximus Leo said...

Ooooooh....I just had a mental picture of your descirption of Hui's place....NOT good.. So what did you say he do for a living again?

Well - to get into his good books for once and for all-why not suggest to him that you will do up his place for him FREE.

savante said...

Jay, the musty cave is definitely not a sign of his heterosexuality :) Trust me on that one. I think hrugaar has it right here. It's mre like partyboy's accomodation than a gay man's nest.

Ooh. Decorating, camydi. I could talk about it for hours.

Hey some persian rugs are fab!! Will. Really!

Get a beautiful cabinet. Place the glass inside with tiny focus lights, pete.

quicksilver, i wanna go to a warehouse sale!!!

Nothing naughty that I can.. whoops, shigeki. yeah, there have been naughty happenings. But anyway, you're in Japan. You guys are the king of minimalist!!

Full of colours! Wah, pakcik. Must look at your multicoloured room.

Jamie, clean it up!!

cava. Will put it up one day soon.

Totally agree, rick. Need ostentatious stuff and dripping decadence.

Daniel, you're not the only one. You could join Will :)

Drug Handsome Hui? I must tell him so then, musang.

Hey, I am in his good books, Ian!

paul

Petie said...

I really have no floor room left in my room Paul. And the hanging ones are out of the questions as well... It's all seems too much of an hassle :p

allan said...

"Cute boys in shorts always win me over" - nice one!!! i like!!!