Thursday, May 11, 2006

Heedless

Doctor DoctorThere it is.

Just that little sound.

That sharp chirp chip beep beep that strikes fear in the heart of every working physician. God knows that small beep has plagued my life for the past few years, working to get my adrenaline rushing, sending my heart rate from baseline to F1 arrythmia-like palpitations and my blood pressure rocketing to a sky high spike. Not exactly the healthiest way to be woken up.

And just before a damned profanity can even leave the lips, the damned pager beeps yet again.

By the way, you can slam down on the screaming alarm clock to shut it off but God help those who heedlessly try to shut this particular noise off. Unfortunately that horrible manipulative little black box runs the life of every doctor in the world and remains one of the most sacrosanct objects in medical divinity. For the majority of my superiors, its imminent destruction would be counted as near sacrilege ( despite many residents occasionally wishing to viciously smash the pager to little unrecognisable bits with a hammer ) and getting shunned with immediate excommunication from the parish would probably be just the tip of the iceberg. Wouldn't surprise me if the Rack wasn't brought out to punish heedless members of the fraternity.

One of the downsides of actually watching medical dramas such as Grey's Anatomy and House is inevitably hearing that hated pager ringing - and yet it fills me with almost unholy glee to see some other unlucky sucker getting the call. Nothing like watching another doctor rushing heedlessly towards their next emergency call - especially when you're watching from the cushioned comfort of the couch at home with chips in hand - and occasionally with my tv buddy Big Bicep Barry watching perplexed as I cackle maleficently over every medical mishap. People ask why I enjoy watching medical dramas when I've probably had my fill at work and all I can do is smile and shake my head in a shy non-committal way.

Honestly though, I secretly love watching some other bastard get the back-breaking work :) There's nothing as satisfying as seeing a patient go home well knowing that you've done your level best but it's even more fun watching someone else - preferably your colleague - sweat and swear over every little complication.

BTW none of the doctors here wear briefs like the leopard print ones above - well, none that I know, unless Handsome Hui my friend of the disreputable shack fame would like to enlighten us on this :)

16 comments:

AvR said...

I've often thought how glad I am I did not pursue medicine, unless I had become a researcher. The idea of being beholden to the pager, instantly accesible at all times, seems like a punishment to me. My hat's off to you. I could not live like that!

Xavier said...

gosh, ur life is sooooo dynamic! kinda admire that...

btw, cheetah print briefs under that innocent white doctor coat!!! KINKY! in a good way... :p

Dave said...

Doctors wear briefs with leopard prints when the hospital is named Exotica Hospital. ;)

Matt. K. said...

This week's episode of Grey's Anatomy gives me an impression of what you're saying! Gawd, I love that show!! And that back-breaking surgery... George was really funny!! I can only imagine your life through Grey's Anatomy. A glimpse of, it I presume.

Anonymous said...

ahh...the unsociable life of a doctor who's on call 24/7...

quicksilverlining said...

it is not good enough for a writer that his book suceeds. he must have a collegue's book fail as well.

hoohoo. i know entirely what you mean.

Curtis said...

Of course, when your pager goes off, in a few moments mine does too -- but those of us that do the legwork to diagnose your patients never get featured on TV shows.

Anonymous said...

So, what do you wear under your pants, doc?

famezgay said...

uhmnnn but i think doctor is a very inspiring job.. Uhmnn saving lives. n of course doctor is a doctor n always different from other kind of jobs.. Doctor is sexy whoahahaha

confusticated said...

once upon a time, i did think i would become a doctor. then i decided i don't like touching other people's oozing wounds.

ash said...

at first, i thought this post had something to do with topless doctors with leopard print undies. then after reading the 3rd para, where's the part about sexy doctor with leopard print undies!!! paul, you're such a visual con man! that's my job!

joshua said...

Yes I am sure your readers would love to know what undies you wear under those scrubs!

Isn't it exciting with all the hustle and bustle, saving lifes and being so noble? And like, your profession garners the most trust from the common people!

Hmm, imagine if HH wears a thong?

Jay said...

I LOVVVVVVE Grey's Anatomy. I have decided to be a surgeon and sleep with Patrick Dempsey.

Jushie said...

For auditors, it's the damned mobile phone. God's gift to some of us (esp when you need a booty call), but the devil's creation to auditors.

Ganymede said...

Fan for House MD and Grey's Anatomy~~~ So which doc are you? House? Wilson? Mc Dreamy?

savante said...

Wouldn't a researchers job be a tad dry? I complain endlessly about the job but sometimes I do like the adrenaline rush. I'm weird that way.

Dynamic, xavier?

What hospital have you been going to, dave? :)

Life does resemble some of the dramas but not always, Matt. None of the doctors are McDreamylike anyway :P

Changing your mind yet, k?

You've got the general idea, quicksilver :)

We sing your praises too, curtis :)

Wouldn't you like to know, calvin?

Inspiring maybe. Sexy? Nah.

Well, idiot, oozing wounds are gross but you actually make it better.

Visual con man? I like that word. ash! No wonder they pay you the big bucks!

Joshua, will ask Hui if he has any but I saw him a few times and it's not a thong.

Chas, look close enough at the white coat and you'll see baby vomit and sputum.

Same over here, jay :)

Yikes, jushie, handphones! Hate them too!

defiant, I'm possibly a combination of House and Wilson.

Paul