Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A-holes with Opinions

Opinions. As the oft-repeated wisecrack says, we all have them. Only sometimes some of us just aren't brave enough to speak up.

Despite what everyone thinks of me right know - as the loud-mouthed bugger in the department who complains at the drop of a hat, it certainly hasn't come easy to me either. With my inexplicable fear of the spotlight, it has taken me a while to find the strength to stand up and speak. Certainly an inherited trait since I got it naturally. My Amazonian mother ( despite her deceptively diminutive size ) has never found it difficult to find her voice and despite his quieter, more taciturn demeanour, my father isn't short on opinions either. Not to be left behind, my brother tends to state his opinions trenchantly - much to the dismay of certain unfortunate bank officers and pesky salespersons.

Family dinners for me has always been a literal battlefield of opinions with each of us ranged on vastly different sides preparing our salvos - while my sister-in-law in the guise of neutral Switzerland watches on in bemusement. Unsurprisingly my little niece occasionally pipes in with her own decided opinion - although it'll take a while to translate her childish babble to a for or against. Fiery speaker, that one. Topics range from the yawningly mundane like petty electric bills to the leading front page news detailing news of the latest scandals.

Despite my sheer bashfulness in youth, I've always had this irrresistible urge to speak up. The smallest injustice fills my head with smoke and fire - and my ISO always kids me that he can literally see tendrils of gray rising from the top of my head. Sometimes it does actually feel that way. My ISO is one to talk though since he peppers his loud opinions with derogatory expletives that would make a hardened sailor blush. :)

Breaking the rules
Break free! Share some of those pent-up opinions!

Opinions matter after all and it changes things, sometimes even makes things better. Surely aeons ago if the first caveman hadn't complained bitterly about eating raw mastodon meat cold, there would be no discovery of fire I'm sure. Although not everyone listens willingly to the opinions of others, it still matters since begrudging silence literally signals assent.

During departmental meetings, when the rest of my colleagues just nod meekly - whilst grumbling sotto voce beneath their breaths in a passive-aggressive manner - to the latest imperious edict from their superiors, I actually feel like strangling them for their silence ( apart from some of my more homicidal thoughts ). Surely our careers aren't desperately teetering on the tightrope that we find ourselves unable to speak up.

So for God's sake, speak up.

19 comments:

Ganymede said...

Opinion is a very powerful thing but pity Msians generally are "yes man" person... Sad really. Can see it in my campus... Generally the students don't want to be in the spotlight.

MrBunnyBan said...

I reaaaaally hate that part of our culture. I mean, because I stood up in school I got a rep with the teachers for being really troublesome. Not that I wasn't, but, er... ^^;;;

Anyway, worse yet, it adversely affects politics. We're handing the current gov a power monopoly on a platter.

...Aren't you at work at this hour?

zali said...

hmm.. i guess some people prefer to shout their opinions during gossips session... after the meetings... or only to people they are comfortable with.

confusticated said...

i guess you can't say i don't have an opinion. ahahaha.

Annie said...

Awe Paul. Something's bothering you. It's so refreshing to see such a mad side to you. It's quite sexy actually. Me? I can't keep my mouth shut whenever I see any kind of injustice. Someone wise once told me I need to choose my battles and it's not my job to defend everybody. People need to learn to defend themselves. Awe, but come to me about office politics, ass kissing, brown nosing, manipulation and back stabbing? The monster in me exposes its ugly head and watch out because I will 'END' you.. mark my words. Ok.. back to Martha Stewart and baking cupcakes.

famezgay said...

haha anyway I also think speak up is good but with a limitation lar.. Well though nowadays my juniors likes to speak up during the lecture but uhmnn i do find them lame enough as some of their opinions just doesn't make sense.. Well speak up with sense is GOOD!

Anonymous said...

Guess most of Malaysians are just followers. Never speaks their opinion. From my own class especially, you can really see the difference, the Australian or from some Middle East people usually speaks out and Malaysian, either shake their heads or nod. What's with these people? I never follows nor will I ever keep quiet. That's how we should be. Maybe tat's why lots of shop owners hated me eh...too much complain :P

akihisa said...

This post really did it for me. Granted, the context might be different. I was at a cafe in Tesco the other day. Ordered those delish roti-bakar and kopi ais. Then, a couple sat beside me and ordered their meal. To my surprise, their order came first. I was fuming, of course. But, I said nothing because I want to give them the benefit of a doubt and wait a few more minutes. Still, my order did not arrive. So, I just left without saying a word. I thought it was a subtle, yet clear way of addressing it.

When I think back, I realised I should've said something. I was too concerned about creating a scene. Grrrrr!!! I'll definitely speak up the next time something inappropriate happened.

pink dolphin said...

OMG Paul, you haven't the slightest idea how mush I'm suffering with the same problem here!!
Nobody ever speaks up in fear of the Surgeons and Clinicians, nobody answer questions during ward rounds, nobody speaks up, nobody just says anything!! And i end up speaking up, giving opinions about the running of the course, answering questions etc etc etc. Worst pasrt is, when i speak up , I get into trouble with the arrogant surgeons!! Ugh!

Annie said...

Gosh Vas, it is terrible. In America, the surgeons and physicians in teaching hospitals are just as arrogant. I see nurses arguing with the doctors all he time and they don't listen. It's a bad example they're setting. Listening to students as well as patients are a very important part of healing those you claim to be helping.

Alex said...

Yes!!!! Speak up people!!!!
I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD OF IT!!!

Maximus Leo said...

Opinions...opinions and more opinions. They have to be constructive but there are others out there who are simply trouble makers but the silent one always say nothing until it becomes too late.

Now speaking from an Asian perspective, we need to teach our kids to be constructively opinionated and this can be taught by the parents. Sadly, this is still not being instilled in our kids and it gets a bit harder when the world is now trully globalised and we need to differentiate what is good and bad out there.

Anyway, enough of my rambling! Sadly there are trully A Holes out there with opinions!

Cheers, Ian

HumanAdult said...

Was very opinionated as a kid, and into my twenties but after that I kinda preferred being silent. Id voice out something only when I think my opinion's really necessary. I kinda enjoyed enjoyed not participating. I save my thoughts for when it matters.

But it's hard to kick and old habit though. Sometimes I got to kick myself to stop from voicing my opinion over everything. So these days, my MP3 player's headphones stops me from hearing things...thus I cant comment on anything. Smart or not? Hehe. Love your blog.

Sue said...

Even in the US, most people are sheep. I used to sit through meetings watching people not say anything for hours even when what they were being told was outrageous. Soooo frustrating. I was called, "outspoken". Sadly, I think that is how we ended up where we are today politically.

Anonymous said...

When in my 20s, I had a lot of opinions and said things out loud. But I tend to act quiet and calm in any meeting at work even if I don't totally agree. I just look at the clock and when I can get out. :-) But I admire your attitude. Way to go. :-)

aiskrem_potong said...

i would voice out my opinion only if i have something different to say. if i can provide a new perspective on things (which sadly does not happen very often). if i can't do that - i'd just keep quiet. the next person could probably say what i want to say.

shelzter said...

I like people who speak up ...

I don't volunteer unless its absolute neccessary. Though I am considered trying to change that about me.

Thanks for visiting my site...though I def. dont have much to offer - I try!!

loveeeee the pics on your site

Anonymous said...

hmm..seldom see such serious/tough side of dr. paul, interesting...

i totally agree with you about the need to voice out our opinions. my bf gives lectures at a college and was frustrated by the young students who always keep quiet whenever he asks anything. the most they do are nodding or shaking their heads...

that reminds me of my younger days when i was taught by the stupid 3M edu. system that forgot to teach us "MEMBERI KOMEN" and always keep quiet...>.<

but im glad that im now ready to speak out & question and no afraid of creating a scene too hehe

savante said...

Speak up then, defiant :)

Well, not surprised that you got a troublesome rep back in school, Daniel!

But what if the issue involves themm, zali.. shouldn't they speak up?

Thanks for the opinion, idiot :)

Nah, this one's a regular bother actually, anniiiieee..

Of course you must have something to say lah, ceusm :)

Shop owners love me, I compliment and flirt like crazy, prince of darkness.

Say something, ahmad!

Good, sam :)

vas, always remember that doctors have terribly huge, fragile egos :)

Glad to hear that, alex.

True, ian. Asian kids are usually taught to be quiet and submissive.

Love your blog too, musicploitation.

Surprising since I thought the americans are quite vocal, sue :)

Haven't reached there yet, shigeki :)

Sorry, aiskren but I'm the horrid typ who has to say something or I'll go insane.

Thanks, zufikar.

Different side. joshua? You mean I'm always zany? :)

Paul