Sunday, August 06, 2006

The Lion and the Scorpion

Nothing earth-shattering this sunday, just a quick rundown of my eventful weekend... further details upon request.

Since my lazy Saturday was spent ruthlessly interrogating my friend's new paramour, Eligible Eloutte ( now obviously ineligible ) with leather whips, chains and electric prods, it left me with very little time for my books. Lengthy S&M always leaves me a little weary. Fortunately I had a heinous huddle of homosexuals to help.

Later filled with large helpings of guilt and remorse, I dedicated the earlier part of my sunday to some desperate mugging, anxiously flipping through the dusty pages of my deadly dull medical tomes in search of an epiphany that never came. Even flogging myself repeatedly as penance didn't help much. It wasn't long before the meaningless words and mindless graphs started blurring together into rosy montages of half naked Bel Ami stars romping riotously on a beach.

Getting utterly bored with my medical textbooks, I decided to take a well-deserved break. Imagining my poor Charming Calvin utterly bored, bothered and bewildered in his empty apartment this weekend, I decided to surprise him with a timely visit. Perhaps an invitation for a hot shower, who knows.

What can I say? Never underestimate gregarious Leos for their inexplicable innate ability in drawing a crowd. When this Scorp knocked hopefully on his door, there was already a mini celebration going on with creamy cakes, gay boys and dirrrrty X-tina Aguilera belting out her latest hits about no other men. It was practically one rotating disco ball short of Liquid. Abashed, Calvin claimed that Techno Taz was there to administer CPR to his ailing wifi which was acting up in its final moments - and Winsome Walter had come along later to provide much needed technical / moral support. A likely story when there was cake around! :)

Looking for a party
Someone told me there's a party going on?

Any complaints I had were however silenced by some chocolate, cakes and Calvin. I didn't even raise an eyebrow when my social creature of a man quietly mentioned that he had a dinner gala planned for later - and I was on the invitation list! All that sugar numbed my adrenaline rush.

Still it was a learning experience watching Techno Taz - the master! - at work as he fiddled around the wifi thingie and carefully dissected the connections just moments before tragically pronouncing its imminent death. For a while, it has been Calvin's cherished dream to bring some culture to the unwashed apartment masses by providing free-wifi and cappucino outside his apartment but it seems that his dream just suffered a recent setback with the wifi proving resistant even to multiple DC shocks during resuscitation.

Calvin was left shell-shocked by the shocking verdict as he grieved quietly over his loss. After much discussion amongst the learned jury, it has been assumed that the magical wireless waves has been adversely affected by the inauspicious Hungry Ghost Month and further technical experiments should be confined to later months. So it should come as no surprise that the grand opening of Charming Calvin's Cosy Crib and Cyber Cafe has been postponed till further notice.

13 comments:

Francis Ford Faggola said...

So sorry to hear that. Hopefully it'll be up and running soon...

But I think your theory is not far off the money. Some Starbux wifi also went haywire (at least where I was wifiing)...

nyonyapenang said...

Check one more time la. Maybe the Hungry Ghost was surfing earlier.

Anonymous said...

Question: How many Queers does it take to make a Heinous Huddle of Homosexuals? Also, May I be in the middle of this HHH? From your mouth to God's ears.

hrugaar said...

You can turn meaningless words and mindless graphs into Bel Ami romps? Heh, with minor miracles like that, who needs wifi la?

Anonymous said...

Ain't no other man, my dear.

And I WILL make that wifi work!

Joseph said...

hi Paul - thanks for your constant visits to my blog. Answer your question first: Yoyotte is just a kiddy name - which sometimes french kids name their dolls, puppets... just like French people sometimes name the lovers as Carrot, petit-cabbage...

I haven't really got the time to read through your postings - but hope somedays we could sit down and chill out - sharing those of the stories.

Life Cafez said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Life Cafez said...

Providing free wifi and cappucino outside. That's the only service provided? Any extra service? hehehehe....

Btw, Calvin Wifi will be fixed. It's just matter of time :)

MrBunnyBan said...

aiyo, calvin is so happening. Some more got so many people to party with, heh.

savante said...

True enough.. how cool to run a cafe there, holden! So just jack!

Exactly our theory, nyonya!

Maybe ten? They seem to like a quorum for some reason, ed.

I certainly can, ru. Have a marvellously vivid imagination.

Teaching me English, darlin? I knew that :)

No problem, JOJO.

You've still got to pay, lifecafex. Not sure about extra service. Is Calvin offering?

True! It's short of a gay disco, Daniel.

paul

Annie said...

WAIT.. HOLD THE PHONE. Calvin is attempting to access wifi for FREE? Isn't that illegal in Malaysia? You sly fox Calvin.. You're a bad boy, aren't you and we all thought you were so innocent.

Anonymous said...

I love impromptu parties. Those are the best.

How was dinner?

Anonymous said...

Gasp! Por favor, Annie, I'm innocent. I have a broadband account of my own and paying for it every month without fail. I'm just trying to wifi it for other people to use when they're at my place.

Oh mercy... I'm innocent...