Monday, October 22, 2007

Mothers and Sons

Gay men and their mothers.

We all know it's a timeless cliche that has been around these parts - well ever since ancient mythological Greece when a dutiful Achilles consented to his beloved mother's wishes and turned drag to hide in the doe-eyed harem of Lycomedes. All just to escape the macho Greek warriors coming to ship him out for a year long beer-fest / bar-fight / mini-orgy over in the city state Troy. Needless to say, our Achilles' lustful need to fondle phallic weapons outed him to the rest of the keen-eyed Greeks.

For something a lil less mythical, let's not forget the legendary Alexander the Great and his domineering mother, Olympias.

Still, we all know what it's like to have mothers. Mothers who spoil and cuddle us. Mothers who nag and whine to us. That special bond between a gay man and his mother is undeniable - and has led to endless speculation on the specific origins of homosexuality from psychologists with their unproven theories on domineering mothers to budding scientists with their recent search for the gay gene amongst the maternal gene pool.

Me, I think mothers just like boys who can shop, cook and interior decorate ( some even turn into horrific mini versions of their moms! ). Saves them the chore.

Kevin Walker
Finish the toast fast dammit! I gotta go pick up my mom!

However sometimes that particular closeness leads to an almost unhealthy co-dependence. Don't know if anyone has noticed but as fathers grow older, they tend to morph into couch potatoes / homebodies quite impossible to nudge out of the apparent security of their castles. Their social life tends to end at the telly remote the minute they retire. Which leaves the mothers lacking that plus one so to speak - that dependable partner to squire to dances, dinners and dreary meetings.

A role the gay son is obviously expected to fulfil.

Accompanying my mother to boring soirees has practically become an unwritten family obligation. Like all mothers, my own mother doesn't order or command. That would be far too rude - and so forward! No, my mother merely requests politely - or what my brother and I like to call heaping a freaking shitload of guilt till you capitulate to her wishes. Not that I mind since my mother's generally a wonderfully entertaining companion ( and I adore her ) but still I'd like to have something resembling a choice rather than to have it foisted on me.

No doubt Kevin Walker can certainly commiserate since his mother does the same guilt-trip on him.

Kevin Walker and mama
God, could you just grab my golf club and bean me to death just to put me out of my misery?

Not sure if subconsciously I was trying to out myself but I let my mom tune in to Brothers and Sisters just the other day. After watching several episodes in a row ( yes, I got the series on dvd finally! ) - we arrived on an episode where Kevin has a significant row with his mother over missing out on a date to squire her around, forgoing sweaty, no-holds-barred sex for a day of golfing and an old movie. Pausing during a break, my mother smiled a little.

Mother : That's funny! Kevin reminds me a little of you.
Paul : He does a bit, doesn't he? Do I bitch like that?
Mother : Do I nag you like that?
Paul : Not really but the similarities are uncanny, right?
Mother : True. But he's gay.

You think?!

It did sound like the perfect God-given moment to leap out of the closet with an outrageous flourish ( perhaps even a song and dance number out of Hairspray ) but I found myself literally dumbfounded by her seeming obtuseness. Bloody hell, I am fucking Kevin! With a lil less IQ, much less sex appeal and zero fashion sense but still there are mind-numbingly obvious similarities.

Not that I look anywhere close to the adorably pink-cheeked Kevin. I mean, that lawyer dude works out - and fills out his preppy khakis really well! Me, I barely get by on the attractiveness stakes.

7 comments:

Medie007 said...

gay sons and their mother... so u're still closeted huh?

Unknown said...

hehehe...cheeky,i guess yr mother wants u to come out la Paul..mothers know ;)

Jason said...

How the heck did your mom get her hands on that dvd??

Then again... women's sixth sense :)

asm@di said...

me likey kevin! very adorable!

btw, have you watched the new season?

Jaded Jeremy said...

You should have responded, "And so?" and see where that goes. If want to backtrack later, can always think of something hehe. Well, hindsight is always great though, eh?

Ryan said...

Wow, so you've bought the DVD for Season 1! I actually 'burned' them into CDs and now are re-watching the first Season while waiting for the next episode of second season to be aired.

I've just finished downloaded Season 2 Episode 4. Will enjoy it later.

Anyway, gay son and mom. They're meant to be bugging each another. So bug and be bugged. Hug and be hugged. Doesn't matter if mother knows or not know, she loves her son!

Aryaduta said...

What a wonderful post! Thank you sharing it. :-)

My mother is a very strong woman, and she was very strict with me when I was growing up. However, I know that it was all out of love because she wanted me to be brought up properly.

Your description of how fathers get when they age is right on! When I read the description, I thought to myself, "Hey! He's talking about my dad!" Yes, my dad is a couch potato, and he does nothing but watch sports on TV all day long. :-P

Which means that my mother has now turned all of her focus onto me. She wants to know what I've been eating, what I've been doing, and things like that. When I'm at home, she'll always make me take her to the store even though she knows how to drive. My dad always complains about being left behind, but he soon forgets all about it when the sports match comes back on! :-P

When you and your mom were discussing Brothers and Sisters, that would have been the perfect time to come out. Perhaps she was hinting when she made that comment. "True, but Kevin's gay. (Are you gay, too?)"

Mother's know more that we give them credit for. My mom always knew deep down that I was gay, but she never wanted to admit it until the day I came out to her.

When you do decide to tell her, good luck! :-)