Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sweet Schmaltzy Sentimentality

Hands up those who haven't had a tiff with their significant other over PDAs!

And by that, I don't mean digital assistants, blackberrys and other technological paraphernalia. Talking about Public Displays of Affection. Oddly enough Charming Calvin who seems to be out to everyone ( and his mother ) in the world seems a lil shy when it comes to PDAs.

Though these days with the morality police ruthlessly raiding every nook and cranny for the smallest signs of indecency ( or what they perceive in their self-righteousness as indecency ), a little prudence might be a worthwhile virtue to cultivate.

Of course there are brave couples who aren't afraid to flaunt their colours for all to see - although few would dare push the boundaries by having wild passionate full frontal embraces in public. In our conservative country, not only would it garner utter revulsion from the astonished masses but the occasional brickbat ( or molotov cocktail ) just might come flying! Being quite a fuddy-duddy myself, I'm not sure I condone tonsil hockey ( even amongst the breeder brethren ) in public either. I mean, fucking get a room please.

Yes, I'm quite the stone-cold pragmatist occasionally.

The Dance
Seriously! They really DO exist!

Then there is this sweet couple I know who aren't afraid of a lil PDA - and certainly enjoy the full dose of saccharine sweetness in their budding romance. Demonstrative displays and mushy cornball pledges seem to be their thing. Naming no names though I think they already know who I'm talking about! Here's an example of their daily effusive ( cloying! ) exchange.

Alanis : Darling sweetie cutie-pie, are you there?
Jenny : Honeybuns my love. *kiss kiss* Have you taken your lunch?
Alanis : I miss you, my jenni hunny. It's been ... ten minutes since we spoke over the phone.
Jenny : I can't eat a bite without you by my side! *mwak mwak* How can I live without you? You're the very air that I breathe!
Alanis : OMG That's the fourth line from the very same aria I composed for you yesterday!

Okay. Maybe I exaggerate. But not by much!

Then twenty minutes later, they start all over again with the sappy lovey-dovey promises. In which time one of them is busy holding my hair back while I hurl the contents of my upended lunch into the commode. There's only so much schmaltz an evil person like me can handle in a day.

Am I jealous? Not really. I'm actually far more intrigued. Try my best to look politely away when they're going at it full throttle ( enough sugar to drown a diabetic spilling everywhere! ) but I simply can't! Alanisjenny ( Alny? Jelanis? ) are just like that spectacularly gory roadside car crash that fools just can't keep their eyes off!

God, I am terrible!

Of course they are both so annoyingly nice ( sweethearts the both of 'em ) that it makes it nearly impossible to hate them. Even take my relentless teasing in good fun though I'm pretty sure they both purposely exaggerate their mawkish sentimentality just to make me nauseous - or at least I pray to God it's an exaggeration! Well, just as long as they don't morph into the infamously inseparable Richandamy! :)

7 comments:

Ryan said...

LOL... yeah I saw such people in the train as well. They just don't care if other people stare or looking at them in disgrace.

And yeah, it's annoying!

nyonyapenang said...

ya lar...there are lots on the LRT.....packed like sardines and you sure to see a couple or two 'richandamy'

Stephen said...

In my local city, a (hetero) couple were recently arrested for having sex in a busy street, in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon.

Kissing and handholding? No-one would even notice!

Janvier said...

LOL. You really are evil. Are they who we think they are, this Jelanis?

A Lewis said...

Will you hate me if I tell you that WE'VE NEVER HAD A TIFF over PDAs....technology or otherwise. We just seem to make it work...it's never even been an issue in the last ten years that I can remembe.r

Unknown said...

I'm not much into PDA and too much display of it is annoying. There are little things, like a stroke of the hand or back (not butt, lol). Sometimes, in the village (gay village) then we will sit at a restaurant and hold hands next too each other, not across the table. We have made out in a club though, but its dark and no one cares or sees. We have not had any fights though, as we are both just not into PDA.

savante said...

Ryan, kisses are fine by me but more than that is a lil too much! Are we getting old?

Attached at the hip, nyonya penang!

Whoa, that's kinky! Did anyone take pictures, stephen?

Yes, it is who you think they are, janvier.

Lucky Lewis!

I am into PDA actually, m :P Just not too much.

Paul