Hungry Woks

You're dead hungry. You're in a new area relatively unknown. There are two friendly local girls in front of ya, one fat girl and one thin girl.

So who do ya ask for recommendations on places to eat?

I know it's supremely biased but hell, I'd head for the fat girl ( let's not be overly PC over here ). I'm hardly gonna ask the Twiggy-thin model-esque gal who looks like she sticks a finger down her throat after a meal of two wafer-thin crackers a day. Sure she might know where the nearest fad diet pill store is ( or perhaps the location of the low-fat, low-cholesterol, low-taste eatery ) but I doubt she'll know where to go to satisfy my carb cravings!

Surely with that gaunt, concave abdomen, the words donuts and cream cheese would be anathema to her.


Oh God. I haven't had this in years. She's not looking. I bet I can steal a bite!
So why do culinary shows persist in hiring shockingly anorexic hosts? Boggles my mind seriously! Why would you want to follow the culinary advice of someone who probably thinks two stingy breadsticks is a bingeing feast. Sure I know everyone wants to gaze at something pretty onscreen but big doesn't necessarily mean un-photogenic. Just look at Nikki Blonsky. Now that's a healthy gal I'd stalk unapologetically when she heads for lunch.

Or look at the delectable Nigella Lawson. Now that's one curvy domestic goddess you just know has the occasional private orgasm over sinful chocolate. I'd turn straight for her ( though I wouldn't know what to do with her hoo-hoos and ta-tas )!

And I'll have to assume that she doesn't automatically head for that organic deli. I mean sure we should all partake of healthy organic fruits and vegetables ( doesn't the medical journal insist on that promotion? ). After all since we were kids, we always known boring broccoli's good for us. But hell, could it possibly taste as sinfully delicious as a fried chicken drumstick literally dripping with transfats and cholesterol? Or steaming roti prata oozing with oils and ghee?

You just know I've been watching too much Asian Food Channel.