Meeting McBastard

Social etiquette prescribes rigorous codes of conduct to restrict the ways in which people interact with each other, based on respect for other people and the accepted customs of a society. According to the snooty grande dames of polite society, without such refined conduct it's quite clear that the rest of us would degenerate into a rag-mannered bunch of barbaric peasants incapable of saying hello without a violent club to the head.

So what's the proper thing to say when you meet the McBastard who purposely broke your friend's heart and then heedlessly trampled all over the tattered pieces?

The genteel Miss Manners would certainly adjure us all to look away and ignore the unconscionable fella - but modern day Gossip Girl rules led by their vengeful teen queens would of course advocate Machiavellian sociopolitical plays to even the score. You cheat on me - I max out your credit, break your toys and tear your reputation to shreds?

Surprisingly I did neither.


No bloody punch-em-ups, I swear!
Since I honestly didn't even know he was the adulterous McBastard in the first place! My mistake, I swear. Mistook the name when we were introduced earlier today. Of course according to Fabulous Fiona, we really have to demote the McBastard by stripping the Mc from his name ( evidently a sign of hotness which he severely lacks ). Can't argue with that since I found McBastard shockingly pitiable.

Paul : Is this fella your McBastard?
Fiona : Oh yes he is. He cheated on me. Be mean to him.
Paul : That unworthy fella! Darlin, what were you thinking of when you dated him? Even I look better.

Which is not saying much judging by my troll-like looks.

But after doing the polite social schmoozing with the fella, I couldn't very well haul off and whack him ( verbally! ), could I? Not only totally against Queensberry Rules but sudden unprovoked verbal abuse would make me look vaguely schizophrenic and possibly criminally insane - not recommended at a hospital benefit with rabid psychiatrists around.

Maybe I could plead Tourette's?

But honestly the first thing I could think of when I saw the unscrupulous McBastard was this - Thank God Fab Fiona made a clean getaway.

Now, isn't that insult enough?