Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Waiting Room

It's been so long since I've been on a date that I've forgotten exactly what that entails. Date with a girl, I mean.

Being a gay man, I've found myself relatively immune to the debilitating effects of dating women. Had a few experimental dates way back in high school when I was still vacillating whether I actually was a raging homosexual. Pity the poor girls I dated since I must have seemed the most awful, bumbling clown ever.

Waiting
Waiting.

Knowing their innate foibles, I used to give the girls a half hour's grace to get ready. But quite obvious I must have blocked out that entire sophomoric experience of dating - since I totally forgot how long a girl takes to get ready for a night on the town.

Especially a girl like Lissome Lorelei :)

Paul : Hey, are you about ready yet? I'm getting my shoes.
Lorelei : Wait. I just got out of bed.

Paul : Should be getting out by now.
Lorelei : I just finished bathing. I'm putting on body lotion!

Paul : Lorelei? Should I wait downstairs?
Lorelei : Looking for my eyeliner! Gosh, where's my lipstick!

Paul : You're down! I'll get the car.
Lorelei : OMG. My shoes don't match. Lemme change.

Obviously it takes time to transform into a glorious swan! :) Takes close to an hour actually - though it seemed like forever while I was waiting there at the door impatiently knocking.

Certainly a downside to dating a woman. Gotta pity those poor straight slobs.

Don't get me wrong. Gay boys can be rather tardy when they're busy primping at the mirror flexing their muscles as well. And let's not get into their obsession with getting that perfectly tousled - yet ruthlessly arranged! - hair. Fortunately not all of us are into men make-up yet ( though I have my suspicions! ) so the waiting time's sliced just that hairsbreadth shorter.

All except me of course. Being a bad gay man - meaning somewhat a slob, I usually spend only seconds on my hair ( evidently! ) and maybe a quick glance at the hall mirror to make sure my shirt's not sticking out the back before stumbling out of the house.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ohh awesome story huh, but I think yer actually waiting for Chace Crawford, eh?

xoo hawt.

NotHamsap said...

So true, most of my girlfriends usually take close to an hour to get ready, some even longer. lol.

Gay guys can be vain as well, they don't spend as much time on make up, but they sure do on their hair! blow dry, wax, not-satisfied-and-wax again, and not to forget "admiring" themselves in the mirror. and oh yeh you forgot to mention something here - CAMWHORING!


--nothamsap--

Darren said...

blow dry, wax, not-satisfied-and-wax again?

that's so true.

and not to forget "admiring" themselves in the mirror?

that's so true of me. hehe.

Ryan said...

I hate doing hair. It will never seem right!

Anonymous said...

Well, if you go on a date with me, you won't need to wait that long since I'm also a slob like you ;)

__S.B__ said...

Iam Gay, and i know girls do take forever, it can be annoying haha

Mr.D said...

i love sprucing up!!!

William said...

It's such a challenge to make one's hair look effortlessly styled, yet it took ages to achieve. :P

shoppoholic said...

Hi, I'm sorry the wrong age and the wrong sex.... But I saw your blog when I browsed everybody who had the same favourite novel as I do..... yes.... I have currently no life:)or rather have become an Internetoholic.

Anyway.....1) Last summer I was a witness at a friends gay wedding (two men) had been to female friends wedding, and well........so, the ceremony was at half past one, at one o clock neither of the men were dressed in wedding clothes. I was nervous,HOW WOULD THEY MAKE IT. I had spent like an hour to get ready. The other witness and I left, and WHAM. The groom and groom dressed and got to the courthouse in like twenty minutes. Amazing! So when people asked about the difference between gay/hetero weddings I say it's the amount of time needed to get dressed:)

2) Is that really you in the picture, it looks like the guy in Lost.

3) Can I include your blog on my bloglist "the blog I read"?

shoppoholic said...

Sorry it should be blogs I read.....

savante said...

Definitely. Can't wait to see him back in September, dazedblu!

Ah, the cam-whoring bits. A surefire way to recognize a gay fella, nothamsap!

And yes, the admiring themselves in the mirror bit too, silencer :)

Same here. Which is why I go for the razorblade, ryan.

Good to know, lada hitam :) I hate waiting.

I guess they do have a lot on their mind when they get ready, sb :)

Yikes. But it takes so long, darren!

Now you make me wonder how long it takes for you, william.

No worries, shoppoholic. Link away :)

Paul