My new man is cheery and bright with a gamine, wide smile that could charm the birds out of the trees! If only he was as articulate as he is visually arresting... but then again, the strong, silent types are always a popular draw. I'll give him time to come up with the right words - since Rambling Raoul - already past the age of one - is babbling unintelligible gobbledygook these days.
It wasn't the most propitious of meets.
The bane of my ISO's life
After today, let me retract my erroneous assumption that all men would be delighted to be fathers. Obviously homo-panic can strike more than one fellow. Seriously. Since my mom had gone for a brief appointment at the nail salon, I took the opportunity to meet up with my ISO for tea. Dragging our wee Raoul - who was already tuckered out from all the speedwalking - in tow.
Seriously. I found my ISO's achilles heel. Turns out he might be able to handle hunky college jailbait but the younger ones in blue shorts freak him out more than a little. When he saw my toddler nephew, the mixture of horror and trepidation on his face was... priceless to say the least. He looked like a man who'd been handed a live ticking bomb.
If I hadn't stopped him, no doubt he'd have already thrown a fastball and dived for cover under the table.
Paul : Watch him for a minute.
My ISO : Are you crazy? How can you leave a child unsupervised?
Paul : I'll be back in a flash and the toilet's just around the corner. I'm not leaving you with the baby forever.
My ISO : What am I supposed to do?
Paul : He's sleeping in the stroller. Just pat him gently if he wakes.
My ISO : And if that doesn't stop him from struggling awake?
Paul : Restrain him with your sculpted arms la. Didn't you go to the gym for the express purpose of manhandling underaged boys?
My ISO : Bitch.
Raoul didn't wake up fortunately - and later when he did, he just stared at my ISO. Obviously wondering who this broad-shouldered uncle gentleman cringing away from him in fear was.
4 comments:
my, my, look at you, all braveheart and stuff! hehehe. seriously though - i sympathize with the ISO... babies may be better, but when they get a wee older, kids are WEIRD!
Gotta agree sometimes :) Toddlers are easier to take care of, closetalk!
He is scared of babies or scared of parenthood? Hahaha
Possibly both, darren!
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