Saturday, September 13, 2008

The One Where Everyone's Gay : The Hospital Edition

According to Charming Calvin, enterprising gay men venture into the medical field in droves to justify themselves. Of course that inebriation declaration is a whole bunch of crock - certainly not true for myself! - but there might be some small hint of truth in there.

After all these days I'm starting to feel as if the hospital's literally teeming with homosexuals. Either my glitchy gay-dar's working overtime or gay boys seem to be popping out of every nook and cranny. Look this way and theres a gay nurse, turn the other way and there's a gay intern. Shocking! I'm sure the right-wing conservatives would have collective strokes at the hideous thought.

Of course I'm sure the numbers are greatly exaggerated since not all guys who are femme necessarily swing our way. And quite a few cases of pure wishful thinking since as we all know, confounding metrosexuals abound. But one of my colleagues Timber Tom seems to rely solely on the controversial duck theory ( walks like a duck, talks like a duck ).

Clubs
Come join us!

Oh yeah... not to mention the highly confidential underground homo-doctor grapevine. No dubt they have clandestine skull-and-bones meetings with secret handshakes at the masturbatorium.

Seems my evident homosexuality pinged his overactive gay-dar enough that Tom saw no qualms in coming clean with me on his various theories. Reason enough to hit me for lunch to expound on his latest findings.

Paul : You can't be serious. You're telling me Maarof is queer?
Tom : As a three dollar bill, yes.
Paul : But he's married with kids.
Tom : So? Still gay as a mardi gras.
Paul : How about Rafe? How about Jim?
Tom : Gay. Gay.
Paul : They are both married too.
Tom : Beards I tell ya. Joe and Yaakob are gay as well.
Paul : You just named half the guys in the department. We might as well spring for a gay cruise to Phuket for family day next year.

Come on, I'm ready to believe that some closeted fellas - in a desperate bid to repress their sinful lusts - would actually get married to the closest beard and have children. A really small handful at the most. The rest are just femme acting but probably straight.

Far from agreeing with my sensible postulation, a disbelieving Timber Tom insists on lumping the entire lot into the gay category. No doubt to him everyone's gay until proven straight :)

Well if his far-fetched theories are to be believed, the hospital's definitely a scandalous hot-bed of homosexual activity. At this rate of outing, we'll soon be having our weekly department meetings ( with cocktails, go-go boys and thumpa thumpa disco music ) at the Marketplace.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was just having a disccusion on "married gays" with some friends.... I think these men are finally able to come to terms with themselves. They prolly just got married, thinking that by doing so,their internal conflicts would be solved. But since society's more open to the gay culture now, they're gaydar's resurfaced too! :p Good on them I say!

nase said...

which hospital is this again? lol.

Alex said...

Doctor is a gay profession?

Darren said...

paul!! lol. which hospital is it again? i so want to do my housemanship there! haha.

secret handshakes? r u involved in any of those?

Cyclohelix said...

I just get the feeling intellectual-stricken-conversation + speciality(any talent, feature, job, uniqueness, personality) + male bonding = G Love. Not being bias, but can any female stand-up or triumph over male bonding?

savante said...

But aren't you amazed at the number, fee?

Not telling, nase :)

Kinda like oil and gas, alex :P

Well, meet me for lunch and I'll tell ya, silencer. Didn't know about all that till a few weeks back.

Depends on the diva female, helix!

paul

Medie007 said...

puhleaze. like you don't know that from the start?

i suspected one of my prof as one.

and i came to learn there are TWO in the hospital i'm in. :D

__S.B__ said...

You are who are

savante said...

Certainly surprised me to bump into so many, bong :P

Yes that's true, SB.

P