Sunday, January 04, 2009

The Flycatcher

A friend of mine Salacious Sal has a problem that most of us wouldn't mind having.

A boyfriend far too attractive for his own good!

I know most of you would be wondering where's the problem in that - since a lil man-candy accessory just goes with everything, right? Well, that's all true but let's not forget everyone else seems to want a sample of the hot merchandise as well.

Paul : So what's the problem?
Sal : Well the boyfriend has all these flies around him!
Paul : Flies? Does he smell? Is he rotting?
Sal : No. Man-flies! 苍蝇!

His irresistible pheromones seem to draw folks from near and far hence the many persistent admirers flitting about the man. A fact which my friend Salacious Sal isn't terribly amused with - calls them pesky flies 苍蝇 to his honey. Swatting them off would be easy enough but fending off these unwanted pests starts to get difficult when you're dealing with raffish man-sized paramours who won't take no for an answer.

Share
Maybe the flies are afraid of the light?

Just a spray of pesticide isn't gonna work on these bugs.

Despite the frequent assurances from the said cutie boyfriend, I can see why Sal would feel a tad threatened by the attention. So would I actually. Who could blame him? All you'd need to do is slip just once with one of the flies buzzing about eagerly for a taste of that sweetness.

Even I wouldn't mind a brief lick myself :)

I'd have considered weekly threesomes ( with a different fruitfly every week! ) but from the look on Sal's face, I doubt he'd like that salacious idea. Of course throwing jealous remonstrances wouldn't work either. Even a possessive Scorpio like me would know that. Crazed irrational hysterics would probably drive them farther apart!

But rather than ignore the looming threat, I'd keep the flies close at hand. Hell, I'd be best buds with the most persistent ones! A twist on the old adage of keeping your friends close but your enemies ( in this case, the buzzing flies ) closer. Then I'd work my hardest at getting the flies happily paired off to cut down the competition.

13 comments:

Little Dove said...

Keeping the buzzing flies closer is a brilliant solution! What if their hands become naughty with the boyfriend when they are too close?

Matt. K. said...

Ooh, forget about flies, I'd enjoy what I have in hand and make the best out of it - which includes keeping him glued.

Oh how I wish.mushi

MrBunnyBan said...

...sal is a guy's name? I thought it was a girl. :P

Spin Doctor said...

Foomygawd, i think those flies should just buzz off.

.:: Ant ::. said...

Had the same predicament. Thank heavens I had the confidence not to worry and bask in the glory of hvg a gorgeous other half. After all, already being in the relationship gave him the upperhand.

Sal should just sit back and enjoy being the "chosen one" and giggle at all the oogling. ^_^

+Ant+

Anonymous said...

Had the same problem with my Ex. He just couldn't understand why so many flies were around me... I've taken care of that problem...I ran away with one of the flies.

JD Cole said...

this is the curse of having someone attractive as ur lover...

the constant fear of he might be swept away by those bugs

Mr.D said...

Sal is a guy or girl? o_O

Twilight Man said...

At school, I was an athletic bin and had many flies too. So I promptly covered with a bin cover. buzzing flies could be annoying.

lllearned said...

C'mon some flies are actually cute little bumblebeezzzzzzzz :P

XanFactor said...

i don't know if i understood it right... but as the say the best men are always taken... and that the world, particularly the gay world, have realized that already and know to have them... they got to steal them...

:)

savante said...

Well you'd be close enough to swat it away, Lil Dove.

Same here but you gotta hold on to what you've got, matt :)

Well maybe he's Italian, ban :P

I'm sure Sal wishes the same, Alice.

But what about the buzzing flies, anton and jd cole.

Precisely the reason to worry, jacko :)

It's a guy, Darren.

Athletic bin? What cover did you use, twilight! And why keep them away?

llearned is right. Some of the flies could be cute bees.

You're giving Sal even more reason to worry, xan :)

P

.:: Ant ::. said...

Who's afraid of the flies, when I'm the buzzard! And there's also the DDT.

+Ant+