Tuesday, February 10, 2009

If I were a Boy

Listen to the airwaves and you'll catch the delicious bootylicious diva Beyonce wailing about the endless benefits of being a boy - and how she'd change things if she could.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts

I'm here to tell you, girl, that if you were a boy - and did all of the above, you'd be one sad lonely boy. Sure you could roll out of bed and throw on what you wanted, hang out with the boys and all - but hell, you'd find it pretty hard to score with any girl out there.

SNAG
I'm a sweet fella. Really!

Sure that's what the girls - and Beyonce - think they want. Listening and understanding? Being the sweet, sensitive, gentle and understanding beta hero? Do all that - and that's how you're gonna land the role of the secondary best buddy, that glorified backbencher who never gets the girl at the end.

Sensitive new age guy? Get ready to be the pathetic sap sitting waiting at the bus stop as the girl rides out in search of the bastard who dumped, betrayed and broke her heart.

Beta boy : Are you feeling alright?
Girl : That bastard alpha dog slept with my skank of a best friend!
Beta boy : Oh. That's terrible. How do you feel?
Girl : I hate him! Really! How could I even think of going out with him?
Alpha dog : Yo, babe. Come over tonight. I'm sorry.
Beta boy : I really don't think she wants to be with you right now.
Girl : Shucks, we all make mistakes. I forgive him. Let me get my coat.
Beta boy : Wouldn't you rather be with me?
Girl : Waitaminute, aren't you gay?

Which has to be the worst slap of all for a straight fella in love.

Let's face it, unfortunately girls don't want good boys. Warped by the endless barrage of Gothic romances during their sophomoric schooldays, girls usually expect a smirking bastard of a tough guy. Bad boys do have more fun. Paperback novels insist that the love of a woman can reform a villainous rake. Hence the girls - in a bid to emulate their intrepid heroines - repeat the same sad pattern of dating unsuitable assholes hoping to change them.

Anyone else they'd term as a pushover wimp.

Certainly not easy finding a middle ground. Getting harder to envy straight guys ( with their burden of expectations! ) these days.

11 comments:

Jason said...

wakkakaka.. that is such a stereotype!!! About boys who are sensitive being gay! Heck even gays who are extra sensitive are probably backbenchers too!

Rae P said...

yeah....girls really dont want good guys.....they think they do, but they dont.....

savante said...

Sad but true, jase! But I think it's more that gay boys are more sensitive to the girls.

Well rae, not all girls but a few :)

P

Chris said...

I love this song so much~~

Anonymous said...

That happens to me all the time. I may get to know this chick and before the end of the day, she would have asked if I was gay! WTF!

Life is unfair. Maybe if I was gay life would be different?! Dunno...

Super Boing Boing said...

My sentiments exaaacticaly! Evvvvil rewards so much better than goodie two shoes. Womenfolk are far too obtuse to know what's really good for them, after all. Teeheeheeheeheehee...

Rae P said...

well paul, as my lil sis said to me - bad boys makes good boyfriends [not husbands though ;)]

so, for boyfriend yes, for hubby no....

;)

[and p/s: yes, she did ask me to find myself a bad boy to be my bf.....ah ha ha....]

@thatdivo
omg..

the only thing u can do is - to become a bad boy then..... xD

forget all the sensitive mushy mushy stuff....ah ha

The Vice Buddha said...

Lol Lol Lol :P

This is so so right!
Girls like it bad! Ask me.. i m a bisexual.

As opposed to girls i have always liked the sweet caring sensetive executive males! Oh and yeah.. they are gay coz they never received female sexual attention. :)

JD Cole said...

with the bling bling and diva attitude...

if beyonce were a boy...i'm sure she'll be GAY!!

Anonymous said...

Rae - if only it was that simple. Hard to imagine me being a bad boy. But since I seem to attract men more, the latter could be an option! Heheh

savante said...

On my all time favourite list as well, chris!

Ah the pitfalls of dating, that divo :)

So many gems around if they'd only look, SBB!

Good boys make better hubbys for sure, rae.

Vice Buddha! You dated girls! :) KEWL! How was it?

That's true, JD!

P