Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Masturbate Away

Seriously. How ludicrous can we get!

Practicing personal hygiene and wearing masks has been advocated by the health authorities to ward away the recent pandemic flu. But obviously some folks beg to differ.

According to these supposedly learned scientists ( though I have far less complimentary names for them ) - to keep away the viral H1N1 flu, you have to avoid masturbation and homosexual activities. Or at least that's according to an eminent practitioner of complementary therapy in Malaysia. Seems that such shockingly indulgent practices cause the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produces acid and makes the body prone to H1N1 infection.

Surprisingly heterosexual unions seem to be the exception from the rule.

How very convenient. Obviously there's neither friction nor heat there. If that's true, those poor breeder boys surely don't know what they're missing.

Friction
Avoiding heated friction?

I can't even begin to comprehend how the crackpot therapist came to the conclusion that homosexual couplings can be all that different from heterosexual ones. Sure faggots fucking can be unconventional but it's not that far out. Item A still enters Slot B - at least most of the time! Does he think gay boys have sex with their teensy toes instead?

Foolish. Now how is he gonna prove this half-baked theory of his? Infiltrate the iniquitous den of Marketplace to find willing volunteers for a sample of acidity? Perhaps after some heated friction?

So to avoid the flu.... No masturbation. No gay sex. Obviously there's nothing much I can do for satisfaction these days.

13 comments:

Crystal Colloid Cum said...

And that Professor something comes from University of Malaya!

Little Prince said...

LOLS. i know when i read it the other day i was laughing like madsssss!!! lols!!! so hilarious loh.

sharman said...

didnt know pleasure could kill :P

William said...

Universiti Perdana! LOL.

I thought the hairy palms would kill ya before the H1N1.

Janvier said...

Lex pointed out the article and we were all ready to flame him for such utter trash! We didn't even deign give him any sort of publicity!

Utter delusional thinking to just mislead the public! We wonder what journal would recognize his methods!

Hmmm word verification 'poles'!

Anonymous said...

i lost my coolness when someone left the article of this 'profound' professor in my blog the other day... but then think again why should i be bothered by someone like him in the first place kekeeee....

V said...

i've read abt this article too!

it's just preposterous!!

Unknown said...

i was laughing at the newspaper when i read it. acidity in the body? how is homosexual activity more prone compared to heterosexual's?


[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Alex said...

That crackpot doctor also proposed something like "ecological healing".. what the fuck is that?!

foongpc said...

haha! I laugh when I read about this! Masturbating and gay sex will not get you infected with H1N1 virus!

But those with AIDS, they are the ones in grave danger of getting the H1N1 virus or in fact any flu virus.

Anonymous said...

That's somewhat absurd! Anyway, I am digging the header in your blog! Nice!

savante said...

Doesn't mean they are all good, Delusion :)

Silly fools eh, prince!

Well obviously sometimes it does, sharman.

Tried that plenty and never got hairy palms either, william :)

Obviously even word verification thinks it's weird, janvier.

He's foolish. We should throw stones, happy and B.

I doubt it's scientifaically proven, ultraman.

Obviously praying that ecology would help, alex.

Wish you could tell him that, foong!

Thanks, Chas!

P

a said...

the most ridiculuos crap from an old jerk.