Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Secretary for Hire

Didn't really hit me until today that I might be in charge one day.

Certainly makes it sound as if it's some uncertain date in the far misty future - rather than by the end of the month.

With the previous head of department still hanging about the hallways before taking her final leave, I still have a bit of leeway. The bulk of the administrative duties are still efficiently carried out by her - with the trifling remainder being slowly trickled down to me. In comfortable stages.

Rather than an entire avalanche.

Till today when I got handed the unenviable task of preparing the annual budget and financial forecast for the next year. Seriously. Crunching numbers might be the domain of other more mathematically-inclined Chinese fellas ( just like my brother ) but didn't I join medical school just to avoid such pointless accounts? Could there be anything more tedious than going through criss-crossed bills, dusty invoices and endless numbers?

Could that be the real reason why our bosses are always so crabby come quarter day?

Patrick Dempsey
Bloody accounts!

Even the astonishing number of zeros behind each sum didn't serve to keep me titillated for long. One million's quite the same as another when I can't use it for my own selfish personal gains.

Unlike my disastrous experience with accounts in high school however, I just hope the numbers actually tally this time. Imagine having to depend on unmathematical me for a bit of financial planning! What a horrifying prospect. I can't even balance my own accounts.

Paul : Dammit. We need to find enough cash in the department just to pay a fucking accountant to sort all this out.
Nurse : Or a secretary?
Paul : Yes, a sexy one sitting on my desk.
Nurse : In a short skirt?
Paul : More like one with broad shoulders and a loosened tie.
Nurse : Oh.
Paul : Now that's one number I wouldn't mind going through again. And again.

Still - after struggling with an ancient calculator old enough to pass as an abacus - I managed to turn the accounts in before the allotted time. Maybe I could get my new personal assistant to come check.

9 comments:

Kenneth said...

Hey Dr. P. ;)

I'm up for hire. ;)

Wait, what am I interviewing for again? I forget. ;)

Does it matter?

Sorry - tiredness getting to my brain. ;)

Have a good evening.

Cheers.

William said...

Jaded Jeremy is good with numbers!

Unknown said...

what happened to your previous personal assistant? i always go for male secretary..very efficient.NO PMS!
Have you a great weekend.

Bradley Hyunckel said...

the nurse thought she(if its a female), be will hiring by you,but disappointed by the words "one with broad shoulders and a loosened tie"

Anonymous said...

hahaa... i think u should name him PERSONAL assistant, in this way, he can help u in more ways (provided he has broad shoulder, 6px abs, well-endowed)

Kenny Mah said...

"Paul : Now that's one number I wouldn't mind going through again. And again."

Just imagine the auditions, er, interviews for this role, er, position, er, you know what I mean. Oh the fun you'll have! LOL

Gratitude said...

Ooooo abacus...how kinky! hehe

Unknown said...

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Kindly check this out soonest.
http://justmeshakira.blogspot.com/2009/11/blogging-awards.
CONGRATULATIONS!

savante said...

Will start listing out the criteria for applicants soon, kenneth.

Oh yes he is, william!

Will definitely look for guys as well, shakira ;P

Think she was more surprised than disappointed, bradley.

I'd do more with the assistant than only paperwork, happy.

Oh baby I only wish I could open that up for tender, life :)

But why, gratitude!

P