Saturday, November 14, 2009

Take A Slice of Pork

With an education partly based on the misguided teachings of Islamic-inclined tutors, there has been much argument on the feasibility of consuming pork. Supposedly it's unclean, unworthy and contemptible - at least in their eyes.

Having rebellious students like us, that particular exhortation only inspired an immediate backlash of pork-infested feasts following their lectures. Seriously, haven't they read about the temptation of Eve? Of course their supposedly evidence-based teachings seemed to be proven right with the recent swine flu scare a few years back.

Which led to people steering away from pigs in droves.

Broke
Oh, for a slice of pork!

Let's not even talk about the skinny socialistas who flee from the thick gelatinous layer of pork fat dripping in oil. Or my similarly pork-fearing mother-in-law :)

The poor maligned pig.

So it was with some amused relief that I found out that not all of us think that way. In fact for some, pork is evidently a panacea for all illnesses.

Only learned that when a hypochondriac aunt of mine decided to seek traditional treament - read snake oil salesman - for her mysterious heart ailments. Repeated arguments for her to stay away from such predatory crackpot mediums seemed to have no effect.

Aunt : So what do I do for my problems, doctor?
Quack : The first commandment. Thou must taketh vegetables and fruits.
Aunt : I have been doing that.
Quack : Verily thou must partake of steamed chicken. Kampung chicken only.
Aunt : Yes, doctor.
Quack : Behold this my most important commandment! Most importantly, thou must eat pork!
Aunt : Eh?
Quack : Have pork and ye shall be healed, my sister!

Obviously Charming Calvin - a staunch advocate of pork-consumption - would be pleased to learn that.

Cure for acute pulmonary oedema? Evidently we don't really need diuretics and beta-blockers anymore. Just a slice of pork a day will do. The astonishing image of patients in the cardiac care unit voraciously munching on endless quantities of bakuteh boggles the mind.

Wonder whether it comes in a pill.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

O.. nice story but the doc was a duck or a doc? QUACK???
real smart written story
but I must take a slice of pork from now onwards..

nicky05 said...

I was wonder after the pork, when is gonna be the duck turn to be served on the table......hahahahaha...XD

Anonymous said...

did he specify that it has to be extra crunchy siew york? :P

Bradley Hyunckel said...

i just fed-up with fats and carbohydrates food...so no pork pls

but bakuteh i couldnt resist...ahh

conan_cat said...

pork is gewd!! i lurve pork!

all hail bak-kut-teh, all hail vinegar pork-leg, all hail stewed pork fats, all hail PORK!!

xD

but really, pork seems to be a vital ingredient in all chinese soups, herbal or not. if you dun eat pork, ur not chinese, lol

Twilight Man said...

Th closest pill I can think of is bacon chips! Yummy!

Fanatism said...

hmm... considering all the viruses and bacterias lurking around us, it'll just be fine to partake in some voodoo session with pork lying around...

William said...

Can I get that off the counter at the pharmacy?

savante said...

Quack is a dubious medicine man, housewife.

Not very soon after, nicky :)

Possibly the oilier the better, happy.

Muahaha. Same here. Fortunately there is one not too far away, bradley.

That's kinda true. More so in China, conancat!

Can hardly find any here, twilight!

Just spread it all around, fanatism.

That would be interesting wouldn't it, william? :)

P