Friday, December 11, 2009

Tween Romance

Gosh, I'm feeling quite the cantankerous fossil these days.

Not only am I dealing with kiddie house officers youthful enough to still carry teenage acne, I also have junior colleagues who can barely recall September 11 because they were busy squabbling in playroom. And now I have teenage problems to contend with as well - especially when a friend's tweenage brother inadvertently dropped a bomb on us during dinner.

He's dating.

Jenny Eric
I like you. You like me. Let's be boyfriend girlfriend!

This youthful James Dean wannabe of fourteen is dating. Holy Jenny Humphrey! Sure the world is rapidly changing with pimpled mean girls indulging in shockingly adult recreation but isn't fourteen far too young? Could have sworned I'd had my head buried in my books back then, far too obsessed with the coming exams than pretty girls in short skirts.

Not that I ever was interested.

James : I'm dating a girl.
Paul : Sounds like you'd better be careful. Are you alright with your schoolwork?
James : It's fine. She can help me. She's in the upper forms.
Paul : An older woman? Are you being careful? Are you using protection?
James : No! We're not doing anything like that.
Paul : That's what they all say when they're in luuuurve. Now tell me what you know about condoms. Do you need some?
James : OMG. Eeew! No!

At least James is still young enough to be shamed into red-faced embarassment in public. Obviously we won't be dealing with oops I did it again teenage pregnancy. Yet.

So my friend and I proceeded to give him reasonably paternal advice on tween romance with a slight detour to chide him about his less than stellar performance at school. Seriously. Told him that level-headed cheerleaders don't date brainless losers. Told him that reasonable colleges don't pick applicants with lousy academic results.

Not that he listened much. Oh yes, I do know teenage boys will just ignore well-meant advice.

Of course what I really wanted to say was... 'Bloody hell, you scored with a sophomore! You go, dude!' Obviously far too inappropriate a comment for a matured, seasoned veteran like me. Though I'd have been jumping ecstatically if I'd had the opportunity to score back in school. Hell, I'd have fucked a letter box. Imagine if I'd had a hunky teenage quarterback to play ball with after school.

Hot damn.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Hhhmmm....Alexys is 15 and Jasmine is 17 and I am sure they have refuse dates,RIGHT? Lol. Honestly, I really would not mind my eldest dating but again, they are just not as BAD as their mommy!

stargal said...

14 is not young enough. my niece had her first boyfriend at primary 3, ok!!! and she's just going into secondary the coming new school year... they DO start young nowadays, it seem! here, i just post abt it not long ago:
http://magicinrhapsody.blogspot.com/2009/11/brats.html

Mr.D said...

so cute~ but teen love is puppy love~ no worries

Legolas said...

Two things: doesn't affect studies and no baby. If not, no romance.

Anonymous said...

mayb u should ask him to keep one or two around, just in case...
otherwise i think theres no harm lor :P

William said...

There's always statutory rape.

savante said...

I'd be placing a GPS tracker on them, shakira! I'm a monster! :P

Primary 3 tu tak serious sangat loh, stargal.

No worries at the moment of course. But it's too early to say anyway, darren.

That's true. But his studies aren't all that great already, legolas.

Will definitely hand him a packet one of these days, happy.

On each other, william?

P