Friday, October 29, 2010

Hiring Moneypenny

In our first ten years as a child, we go through all sorts of firsts. Our first word. Our first walk. Our first bicycle ride.

That indefinable sense of achievement gets a little less common the older we get! Though that doesn't necessarily mean we stop having our firsts even in adulthood - just that those around us don't celebrate our accomplishments as much anymore. Our first job. Our first paycheque. Even our first staggering loan. Since I've struggled through all those important milestones in my mid-twenties, I figured I was rapidly running out of firsts.

Till today.

My first hire. A secretary as it turns out.

My very own Man Friday. Yes, I need a secretary since I'm in the midst of setting up a private limited company. Didn't have the time to sort out the various candidates available so I left the crucial choice to my discerning parents ( at least I hoped ). Rather than depend on the capricious classifieds, my parents decided to rely on the time-honoured tradition of knocking on the door of every acquiantance they knew - no matter how remote - hoping to chance upon a suitable applicant.

Pulling a needle from a relative haystack as it were.

A bewildering stunt that surprisingly worked when they uncovered the unfortunately named Master Moneypenny. Despite the understated glamour associated with such an archetypical name, it would be hard to imagine a more unprepossessing personal secretary. A dishevelled, shirt-untucked hayseed from the countryside complete with a teasing drawl.

Justin Bartha
Moneypenny : You want me to take off my shirt? B-but why? Is it part of the interview?

Alas, they couldn't find one that vaguely resembled a nerdy but oh-so-adorable Justin Bartha.

But Master Moneypenny had a determined earnestness - and a crafty twinkle in his eyes - that drew me instantly. Though sadly not in a licentious manner. So much for my licentious fantasies of debauchery with the hunky male secretary over a messy, disorganized writing desk! There goes my tawdry offers to debrief my secretary.

Wistful wet dreams aside, it was all business before pleasure for Master Moneypenny. A plenthora of files, folders and documents were strewn all over the table from the little leather pouch he carried. What with his surprisingly respectable qualifications coupled with the affordable rates offered, he was immediately hired.

Which led to the inevitable paperwork.

Moneypenny : Shouldn't take very long to get it up and running.
Paul : And how long does it take to get you up and running?
Moneypenny : Excuse me?
Paul : Ignore that. You mean just a few squiggles of the pen and that's it?
Moneypenny : That's all it takes. So have you decided on the name of the company?
Paul : Whoa.

Seriously. A dozen names flashed before my eyes in blindingly bright tacky neon. With accompanying logos and catchy taglines even. Even had a ludicrous yen to christen the company Golden Prosperity Mountain Towers Above Them All - though the astonishment in Moneypenny's eyes stopped me then.

My company. Turns out that's another first right there.

12 comments:

Aiden said...

Congrats! =]

Shake Trees said...

no worries. with Moneypenny, ur firsts has more to come. do prepare have some medicated oil. :P btw, congrats to u on ur new private ltd company.

sharman said...

it's not fair hiring a secretary, and not informing him of what he's gonna be in for :P

congrats savante! can't wait to see ya cutting ribbon!

Kenny Mah said...

Congratulations, Mr. New CEO! And man, what would I do to have Justin Bartha as my own Master Moneypenny... ;)

john chen said...

well, congratulations, mr president! (said in marilyn monroe purr...)

Vincent~ said...

blog walking, =D nice blog u have there,hahah, i doubt i can hire a secretary in the future. >_< *drools and fantasizing* love your way of writing.

Francis Ford Faggola said...

congratulations! :)

William said...

You have brought Charming Calvin closer to his dream. :D

Unknown said...

wow becoming a boss. congratz'...




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Little Dove said...

Congrats Dr Savante! And please have more of your naughty conversations. I miss them. ;)

blue said...

congrats..what biz ur venturing into? and congrats on getting your own PRIVATE secretary too! :P

Lydia said...

Hi savante, interesting blog & good story. overall You have beautifully maintained it, you must submit your site for free in this website which really helps to increase your traffic. hope u have a wonderful day & awaiting for more new post. Keep Blogging!