Monday, October 18, 2010

The Pooh of Tao

Searching for a teacher isn't as simple as it used to be.

Gone are the mythical days you trudge along a dusty trail till you turn that serendipitous corner to find a suitable master sketching words into the sand. Turns out you don't find Confucius that way! What you do is spread the words amongst the snoops, the gossips and the internet for someone suitable.

Said a flat no to the kindergarten tutors. Although my knowledge of the language is sadly rudimentary, that doesn't mean I'd want to sit through a school lesson with babbling toddlers around me. Had enough baby spit at work, thank you very much.

Would be great if they'd be able to find a serious, buttoned-up - but terribly shaggable - Mr Siao for a Mandarin teacher.

Sure enough a name comes up.

Friend : Found someone for you.
Paul : A teacher?
Friend : Yes, he teaches adult students. Even a couple of foreigners.
Paul : Sounds great.
Friend : And his name is Teacher Tao.

At least it's not Lao Tzu.

Docs
Was that Tao, Mao or Pao?

From the mysterious name on my cell, I expected a wizened, humpbacked octogenarian harrumphing and dry-coughing throughout the lecture even as he added bits of esoteric oriental wisdom to the crumpled notes along with the green tea he served. Wondered if Tao the Yoda carried a bamboo whisk.

Tao : Learn Mandarin, you will.
Paul : Yes?
Tao : Good student, you will be, grasshopper. A cup of tea, you will get me.
Paul : Will caffe mocha do?

All wrong of course.

Teacher Tao. Relatively young. Probably a few years older than me. Few wrinkles. No humpback. Definitely no dry cough. Had the crumpled notes and tea though.

And so the classes begin.

7 comments:

nicky05 said...

cane session also? If didnt did great enough..:P

Kenny Mah said...

Oy vey. So you are taking the Mandarin learning seriously? Ganbate! (Er, maybe wrong language that. Uhm, add oil? Jia You!)

Twilight Man said...

Wow! Soon you will be blabbing Chinese love poems with Charming Calvin..! That's fun!

Legolas said...

How much are you paying him?

MrBunnyBan said...

wah! Good luck!

Janvier said...

We still prefer if you just struggled and ask the patient if they were dying in Mandarin :P

Anonymous said...

That was rather farnee! Thanks and glad you still posting and keeping up your blog for all these years. It has been a pleasure reading your thoughts.