Ever since high school, I've watched breakups happen from the sidelines. Certainly felt much safer when the emotional fireworks began. In the quiet aftermath when the last spark has fizzled out, I'd offer a crying shoulder to my buddy, at the same time wondering how I'd actually fare through such emotional upheavals.
Wistful thinking. As it turns out, it didn't take very long to find out for myself. Although I only recall trying to break one measly lamp ( it was ugly! ) in my simmering rage, my ISO claims a raging Krakatoa would pale in comparison. What I term my very own psychotic break. I barely raised my voice though. Of course my silence is inversely proportional to my rage.
We all grief for our lost relationships in different ways. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
For me, anger always comes first. A veritable tsunami of almost-broken lamps, tossed books and burnt photos. Only months later in the silence ( and relative privacy ) of a movie theatre, I would spontaneously dissolve into tears without warning. Even then I'd warn myself not to shed even one more tear over a careless heel not worth crying over.
Time for some tough love!
So this time as I witnessed my friend going through the painful inevitable, I realized that offering a shoulder wasn't what he needed. For that he already has a choir of soothing sob buds in the form of Kool Kat and Piratin Patty offering sympathy by the drunken barrel.
Didn't think he needed more from me. Heavy dose of reality with a spank of tough love to follow was what he got from me.
Kat : Awww. Poor thing.
Patty : Awww. Poor thing.
Paul : What poor thing? Don't leave it hanging forever! It is unfair for the both of you. Make a decision and stick to it!
Boy : Umm...
Paul : It is not that difficult. If you see a future with him, then work doubly hard to make it happen. If you don't...
Boy : Umm...
Kat : Awww... that was uncalled for. Give the boy some breathing space.
Patty : True also, the boy needs to make up his mind.
Boy : What if I break up?
Paul : All you get is three days to weep and whine. After that, the slap of shame is coming from me.
Boy : Only three days!!
Paul : Okay. Maybe four.
Yeah, I'm not the huggable sort.
7 comments:
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
Was about to write about this, somehow we'll tend to go through all the stages only that in a different order, depending on the situation.
But then again, how long are we going to be depressed till we reach the fact to just accept the truth ?
Oh my...
i'm speechless... did i read right?
Very true, Chen Xing.
Why oh my, alex?
Yes, you read right. But he has been at it for weeks, john.
P
rage never come to me when i break up wif people. I jz.... knew it was coming, so the other half usually were baffled by my lack of emotion when the question is on the table. I think i am psychotic, Or mayb i haven meet someone i really think is worth fighting for. =/
very good. Keep it up.
You should have "Now We Are Free" from the Gladiator soundtrack playing while you give boy the tough love!
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