Thursday, March 05, 2015

The Line of Bitchery

Though my new friends find it really hard to believe, I am relatively zen now. Or at least approaching zen.

Then again I've mellowed down at least marginally, those who knew me from way back when can certainly attest to that. In fact my ISO, having once upon a time witnessed my escalating whirlwind of wrath descend upon his poor doomed flat much to his neverending horror, would be the first to concede. These days when faced with an untenable situation, at least I tend to bite my lip rather than fall into an apoplectic rage. A singular sign of maturity no doubt!

At least that's what I thought.

Much to their collective horror - and to Sober Sophia's endless dismay, one of the indelible Norms for the Domicile for Dogmatic Duennas has been recklessly broken by one of their own - inevitably inching towards the predicted heinous murder-suicide that the rest of us have been laying bets on. Imagine the speechless feminine outrage ( multiplied per duenna ) over said transgression!

Sophia : Gracious me!
Paul : Oh dear, you mean that was mean? And here I thought I was being absolutely darling.

So I tried to offer a more peaceable solution to their dilemma rather than leap to the rather more grisly resolution the bloodthirsty duennas were all baying for.

Paul : Actually you could do the nice thing and just send out an email to the duennas.
Sophia : Only an email? 
Paul : An email outlining all the errors that she made, perhaps even highlighting them. 
Sophia : Oh my God.
Kat : That's your nice thing?!
Paul : It is!
Kat : Oh my. 
Paul : You mean that's not nice? 
Kat : No, it isn't!
Paul : Oh my, I have been sending out some horrific emails.
Kat : Worse than this?
Paul : Much worse. No wonder they always capitulate.

Faced with such shocking manners over the dinner table, I think Sober Sophia nearly fell into an incredulous swoon. Don't really see her following my egregious email etiquette any time soon.

As much as I've reformed to be a better person ( though I am beginning to wonder whatever for! ), it seems that I have very far to go. Even though I have come down from the awe-inspiring levels of Miranda Priestley, apparently I'm still a sliver above that particularly horrific line of bitchery.

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